Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are now 'one big traffic jam’’ How true do you think this statement is? What are measures can the government take to discourage people from using their cars?
It might seem difficult to believe that only 50 years ago, people used their feet to move anywhere, and
cars
were a luxurious option only the wealthy could have. Nowadays, almost everyone on this
planet owns a car
to the point we started to look for measures we can take to replace cars
with other transportation due to
the traffic jam we suffer from everywhere. I will provide pieces of evidence for my argument and give some suggestions about what authorities can do to mitigate this
phenomenon.
To begin
with, demands on car
ownership have increased a lot which can be emphasised by the continuous developments car
companies implement in their cars
. Like adding special features, to provide more convenience and opulence for the users. For example
, Elon Mask's company Tesla has already started the project of automatic cars
because they imagine it will be the future of Correct article usage
the cars
cars
industry. Change the noun form
car
Additionally
, detrimental emissions, ecological pollution, and the terrible damage that is
happening to the Ozon Layer, all of these effects are the strongest evidence of car
ownership excessive growth.
In terms of the possible procedures, the government's major concern should focus on infrastructure and public transport system improvements. To, enable people to utilize the most sustainable and eco-friendly types by making these methods more comfortable and cost less. For instance
, if the authorities take all citizens' notes about how to improve the Rail into consideration and apply it, they will encourage them to consume the Rail more than cars
without any enforcement needed. Moreover
, to change any societal habit, governments need to repair society's mentality first about the importance of quitting car
usage. This
may be achieved by creating awareness among individuals through movies, advertisements, and campaigns. As people
are more affected by things like movies that touch their feelings spontaneously, not directly ordering but planting the ideas softly.
Correct word choice
People
To sum up
, car
ownership demands will not stop unless governments take reverse measures, considering citizens' needs, in order to, replace car
use with other transports
that are eco-friendly and do not cause traffic congestion.Fix the agreement mistake
transport
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task achievement
You have a good introduction and conclusion, which provide a clear opening and closing to your essay. However, your main points could be supported with more specific details and clear examples. You have mentioned Tesla and Elon Musk, but it would be beneficial to give more diverse and concrete examples related to traffic issues around the world.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is logically structured and coherent overall, but the flow between some sentences and paragraphs can be improved for better readability. Using more cohesive devices and transition words can help smooth the flow of ideas.
task achievement
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion and your conclusion neatly wraps up your arguments, reiterating the need for governmental measures.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-organized, and each paragraph has a clear focus which makes it easy to follow the argument.