Some argue that school should prioritize life skills, such as working in teams and Solving problems instead of traditional academics. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In modern society, some opponents have a view that life
skills
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should be
prioritized rather than
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prioritised over
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traditional academic institutions,
while
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proponents believe that academic learning plays a crucial role in the development of future careers for individuals. I am of the belief that both
skills
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are indispensable for personal growth and career success for society as a whole. On the one hand, numerous people tend to teach their children academic learning as it is
a
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apply
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paramount for their cognitive function abilities and critical thinking
skills
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.
In other words
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,
If
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if
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individuals rely solely on learning academic
skills
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, that will definitely improve other
skills
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such
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as creativity and innovation.
For example
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, Mathematical equations at school curriculum can help pupils to think efficiently.
Therefore
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, academic school subjects can enhance their capabilities and abilities for children's future.
Thus
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, what can be said is that traditional school curricula play a pivotal role in career aspirations like engineering, medicine, and technology.
On the other hand
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, some organization reliance heavily on soft
skills
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rather than hard
skills
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. To illustrate, some professions require skilled people over their credentials,
such
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as chefs and drivers
that
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who
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depend on professionalism
at
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in
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their work.
However
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,
this
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is not required for all jobs because it is difficult to acquire
skills
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without academic learning.
Hence
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, some
skills
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can easily be improved through integration between students and co-workers, like communication and interpersonal
skills
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via group projects, assignments, and tasks. In conclusion, after
analyzing
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analysing
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the above–mentioned points. It can be reiterated that a balance between life
skills
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and educational learning plays a vital role in developing a personal career for individuals.

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task response
Answer the question more directly. Say clearly how much you agree or disagree in the first part, and keep this same idea in all body parts.
task response
Use more clear main ideas in each body part. Some ideas are good, but a few are too general and not fully explained.
task response
Add more real and specific examples. The math example is helpful, but the second body part needs a stronger example.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, body, and end, which is good. But some links between ideas are weak or not smooth.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one main point in each paragraph. In body 2, you move from jobs to school group work, so the focus is not fully clear.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence connection. Some sentences do not follow each other in a natural way, so the reader must work harder.
task response
You answer both sides of the topic and give your own view in the introduction and conclusion.
task response
You include examples and reasons to support your ideas, especially in the first body paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear paragraph plan: introduction, two body paragraphs, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use basic linking words like 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', 'Therefore', and 'Hence'.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • prioritize
  • life skills
  • teamwork
  • problem-solving
  • traditional academics
  • modern society
  • foundational knowledge
  • cognitive abilities
  • critical thinking
  • decision-making
  • curriculum
  • project-based learning
  • integrated
  • underestimating
  • opportunities
  • holistic approach
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