IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people say it is more important to plant trees in the open spaces in towns and cities than to build more housing. To some extent do you agree or disagree?

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Some people say it is more important to plant
trees
Use synonyms
 in the open
spaces
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 in towns and
cities
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 than to build more housing. To what extent do you agree or disagree? As urban populations continue to develop, city planners prefer to consume every available plot of land.
While
Linking Words
 the residential properties , some argue that preserving open
spaces
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 to plant
trees
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 is more than a critical priority. I completely agree with
this
Linking Words
 view, as green
spaces
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 provide irreplaceable environmental, physical, and mental health benefits that are vital for long -term. First and foremost, planting grassland is essential for connecting
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
 severe environmental degradation caused by concrete jungles. Modern
cities
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 frequently suffer from the heat effect, where concrete and asphalt absorb and radiate heat, and dramatically raise local temperatures.
Trees
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 act as natural air conditioners through shade and filtering dangerous pollutants and carbon dioxide from the air. If
cities
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 continue to replace open fields with high-rise concrete housing , they
make
Verb problem
pose
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 risks
for civilizations
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to civilisations
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.
Furthermore
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, urban green
spaces
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 are fundamental to the psychological and physical health of individuals. Living in
high density
Correct your spelling
high-density
 and hustle-bustle housing without any access to nature
to
Verb problem
can
show examples
 increase stress , anxiety and depression. Parks and tree-lined open areas provide physical exercise and relaxation, which improves
overall
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 public health
especially
Punctuation problem
, especially
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 after
their
Correct determiner usage
a
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hectic schedule. In conclusion,
prioritizing
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prioritising
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 the planting of
trees
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 in open city
spaces
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 ensures that not
also
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 remain healthy , breathable
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
also
Linking Words
works
Correct subject-verb agreement
work
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 as a lung of our
cities
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.

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task response
Answer the question more fully. Say clearly why you agree, and also show why housing is less important in this case.
task response
Add one short example for each main idea. This will make your points stronger and more real.
task response
Develop each body paragraph more. Some ideas are good, but they stop too soon.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer topic sentences at the start of each paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like first, also, for example, and as a result.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence order and grammar, because some parts are hard to follow.
task response
You give a clear opinion in the introduction.
task response
Your main ideas stay on the topic of trees in cities.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a basic structure: introduction, body, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You group similar ideas together in each paragraph.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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