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Band 7.5

The internet has changed the world. Give the advantages and disadvantages of the internet.

7.5 / 9
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Introduction
The
internet
Use synonyms
 has fundamentally transformed contemporary society, integrating itself into almost every aspect of daily life, from global commerce to personal communication.
This
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 digital revolution has introduced certain drawbacks, notably regarding data privacy and social isolation.
This
Linking Words
 essay will examine the advantages and disadvantages of the
internet
Use synonyms
.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, the widespread adoption of the
internet
Use synonyms
 has created distinct social challenges.
First,
Linking Words
there is erosion of personal privacy. As individuals increasingly rely on online platforms for banking, shopping, and communication, vast amounts of sensitive data are generated.
This
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 data may be stolen or targeted by cybercriminals or exploited by corporations without explicit user consent.
Second,
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excessive screen time has given rise to modern psychological issues,
such
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 as
internet
Use synonyms
 addiction and heightened social isolation. Many people today, particularly the younger generation, substitute genuine, face-to-face human interactions with superficial online connections.
Finally
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, the
internet
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 has led to widespread bullying.
For example
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, many teenagers today post hateful and insulting messages.
This
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 has led to an increase in depression, anxiety and even suicide.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, the advantages of the
internet
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 are unprecedented. Its primary merit lies in the availability of knowledge.
For instance
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, educational resources, academic research, and global news are now instantly accessible to anyone.
This
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 has effectively narrowed the educational divide between different socioeconomic groups.
Additionally
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, the
internet
Use synonyms
 has revolutionised the global economy by enabling remote work and e-commerce. Businesses can operate seamlessly across international borders, and individuals can access global employment opportunities from home.
Lastly
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, the
internet
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 is responsible for incredible communication opportunities.
For example
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, many people today use email, which sends messages instantaneously.
In addition
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, social media offers teenagers ample platforms to post messages and pictures.
Conclusion
In conclusion, it is clear to see that despite the valid disadvantages regarding cybersecurity and diminished social interaction, the
internet
Use synonyms
 remains an overwhelmingly positive force with multiple advantages.

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task response
You answer both parts of the task well. To make the ideas even stronger, explain more clearly how each good point affects people’s lives.
task response
Some examples are too general. Give one clear, real-life example for online bullying, study, work, or buying things online.
task response
Your last line says the internet is mostly good, but the reasons for this view could be a little more direct in the ending.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear start, two main body parts, and an ending. Keep this strong shape in future essays.
coherence and cohesion
The order is easy to follow, but use fewer linking words such as “Finally” and “Lastly” when the next idea does not depend on the last one.
coherence and cohesion
Make the link between some sentences smoother. For example, after online bullying, say that this is one way online use can harm mental health.
coherence and cohesion
In the first body part, privacy, screen use, and bullying are all useful points. A short closing sentence could bring these three harms together before the next body part.
task response
You cover both the good and bad sides of the internet in a full and clear way.
task response
Your main ideas are relevant: privacy, social life, bullying, learning, work, buying, and communication.
coherence and cohesion
Each body part has a clear main idea, and the examples usually support that idea.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction tells the reader what the essay will discuss, and the ending gives a clear overall view.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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