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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The internet has changed the world. Give the advantages and disadvantages of the internet.

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The topic of the
internet
Use synonyms
 has been a crucial matter to
people
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 and policymakers.
While
Linking Words
 some
people
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 argue that
this
Linking Words
 trend entails various drawbacks, others maintain that it offers substantial benefits for society.
This
Linking Words
 essay will explore both the advantages and disadvantages and provide an analytical overview of the situation. The advantages of
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 can be shown in different ways.
First,
Linking Words
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internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 is used around the
world
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 for doing research. It made the
live
Replace the word
lives
 of
people
Use synonyms
 a lot easier.
For
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example
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, in
old
Correct article usage
the old
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days
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,
people
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 used to travel and read a lot of books to
only
Rephrase
apply
show examples
get a piece of information.
However
Linking Words
, these
days
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,
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 these
days
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 is used to make researches because it
helped
Wrong verb form
helps
show examples
people
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to
Wrong verb form
apply
show examples
find
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
information with ease
and that made
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
 it easier to
have
Verb problem
conduct
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 more
and more researches
Check wording
research
show examples
. A second advantage of
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 could be communication. Before
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
, it was very hard to connect with family and friends around the
world
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.
People
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 used to phone each other from
time
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 to another and
this
Linking Words
 was challenging because not everyone had a phone and calls had
high
Correct article usage
a high
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 cost rate.
However
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,
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internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 made it easier to connect with our loved ones whenever we need and
at
Change preposition
from
show examples
 any place in the
world
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.
Finally
Linking Words
, Education can be the
last
Linking Words
 advantage that I can mention. The rise of
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 glowed in education when it was the
time
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 of
covid-19
Capitalize the proper name
COVID-19
show examples
. As
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 all students and teachers around the
world
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 used
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internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 to finish their studies online.
Moreover
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, till
today
Punctuation problem
today,
show examples
people
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 use
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 to study and get certificates
while
Linking Words
 sitting at their homes. After mentioning the advantages of the
internet
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, there
all
Verb problem
are
show examples
also
Linking Words
numerious
Correct your spelling
numerous
 drawbacks. The first drawback to
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 is isolation.
Although
Linking Words
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 connected the whole
world
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 together and
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
made it a small village, it made
people
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 isolated
to
Change preposition
from
show examples
 their electronic devices all day long.
For
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example
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, I remember when I was young, I used to connect with my family members and interact with them more.
However
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, today we are less connected as everyone
sitting
Wrong verb form
sits
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 in
his own
Correct word order
their own world and is
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world
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 and isolated from one another. The second drawback of
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 would be the waste of
time
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.
For
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example
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,
People
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 these
days
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 waste a
alot
Correct your spelling
lot
 of
time
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 sitting on social media applications
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 they don't release their
time
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 that
had
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
 been wasted. The
last
Linking Words
 drawback of
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 would be hackers and scammers. These
days
Use synonyms
,
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 full of scammers and hackers. An
example
Use synonyms
 of that would be copying official websites and making
identical
Correct article usage
an identical
show examples
 copy of them. Various
people
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 face
this
Linking Words
 kind of problem these
days
Use synonyms
nowadays
Rephrase
apply
show examples
. Hackers and scammers use the same interface of official websites that we use on
regular
Correct article usage
a regular
show examples
 basis for payment and In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 the
internet
Use synonyms
 presents challenges, its positive influence on contemporary society cannot be ignored. Individuals should find a balance.

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task response
For task response, you answer both sides, so this is good. But some ideas are too general. Add one clear point and one short example for each main idea.
task response
For task response, the last body paragraph is not finished. This hurts your score because one disadvantage is not fully explained.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay has a clear intro, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This helps the reader follow your writing.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, some sentences are too long or repeated, like using 'these days' many times. Use shorter sentences and avoid the same words again and again.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, use linking words more carefully. Words like 'first', 'second', 'however', and 'for example' are helpful, but make sure each one connects ideas in a smooth way.
task response
For task response, make your position fully clear. In the end, you say the internet has a positive influence, so say this idea earlier too.
task response
You discuss both advantages and disadvantages, so you address the full question.
task response
You give real-life examples about research, communication, education, isolation, and scams. This makes your ideas more concrete.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction and a conclusion, which gives it a clear shape.
coherence and cohesion
You organize your ideas by listing points one by one. This makes the essay easier to follow.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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