Not enough people realise the importance of natural world. What is the reason for people’s lack of awareness? How can people be made more aware?

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This

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world is full of natural

beauty

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. The topic is widely discussed nowadays, as people are rapidly taking an interest in man-made

beauty

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. What could be the reason for their disinterest in Mother

Nature

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Change the punctuation

show examples

In the following paragraph, I will discuss it and will present my point of view.

To begin

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with, the advanced technology has impacted a large number of human behaviours. They spend a significant amount of

time

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using devices by playing online games, scrolling through videos and working online, because of

this

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, they stay indoors for a longer period of

time

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For example

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, the person who is working as a freelancer will spend 09 hours at work, when he finishes his work, he will start playing or connecting online with friends. As he is not aware of the importance of

nature

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, he will neglect the importance to get breath of fresh air.

While

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staying inside may cause many health issues,

such

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as a deficiency of vitamin D.

However

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, it is vital to raise awareness among the young geenration that how important Mother

Nature

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is to human beings. Those who spend their

time

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in outdoor activities are way healthier compared to those who stay inside. They face fewer health problems, stay active mentally and physically, and can serve the nation more efficiently. The natural

beauty

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gives a sense of relaxation and improves concentration levels.

Moreover

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, natural

beauty

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like green grass is crucial for the respiratory system. Those people who spend valuable

time

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playing outdoor activities and feel close to

nature

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are stronger. Governments should promote awareness campaigns for the natural world.

In addition

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, the education sector should start raising funds for planting and educating youngsters to plant the trees.

To conclude

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, the importance of advanced technology is crucial for the progress of human development , but a balance sytem is best. The education sector can encourage students to plant trees. I would recommend that the government keep reminding people how important the biosphere is.

nmdin.157

Jun 18, 2026

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task response

Answer both questions more directly. Say clearly why people do not care about nature, and then say clearly how to make them care more.

coherence and cohesion

Use one clear main idea in each body paragraph. This will make your essay easier to follow.

task response

Add more specific examples. Your example about a freelancer is useful, but one more real and clear example would help.

coherence and cohesion

Check linking words and sentence order. Some parts are hard to follow because the ideas do not join well.

coherence and cohesion

Make your point of view more clear at the end of each body paragraph.

task response

You answered both parts of the question.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

task response

You give some support for your ideas, like health problems and outdoor activity.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

327 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

environmental conservation
technological advancements
economic growth
overwhelming flow of information
sensational news topics
environmental education
media campaigns
environmental degradation
core curriculum
social media influencers
non-governmental organizations (NGOs)
community projects
hands-on involvement

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Not enough people realise the importance of natural world. What is the reason for people’s lack of awareness? How can people be made more aware?

One of the consequences of the improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expentancy is increasing. Do yo think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things.other peoplethink that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both views and give your view.

In some countries, as cities grow, more money is spent on the urban transport system and little is spent on the rural ones. What are the problems creating it? What are the solutions to these problems?