IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The only way to reduce the amount of traffic in cities is by reducing the need for people to travel from home to work , shopping and education.To what extent do you agree or disagree?Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge

#amount #traffic #cities #people #travel #home #work #education #answers
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It is commonly believed that the only way to ease
traffic
 congestion in
cities
 is to eliminate the necessity for people to commute to their workplaces and schools.
While
 I understand that
this
 is a partial solution, I disagree that it is the sole solution to tackle
this
 issue. Reducing the need for individuals to travel to work and run their errands is an insufficient approach to deal with the increased
traffic
 in
cities
.
This
 is
due to
 the fact that people who work or study from home end up relying on delivery services to buy their daily needs
such
 as groceries or clothes. These services often
use
 delivery trucks or motorbikes that
consequently
 add to
traffic
 congestion, which does not fully address the problem. In my opinion, there are more efficient ways to tackle the issue of
traffic
 in populated
cities
. One example is the
use
 of public transport. Authorities should encourage the public to make more
use
 of public transportation especially when travelling for short distances as
this
 will ease
traffic
 in populated areas.
Additionally
, the government should ensure that the
use
 of public transport services is practical and efficient in order to make it more appealing to the residents. Another way to address
this
 problem is by laying an infrastructure that enables the community to travel by other means
such
 as bicycles. A good example to highlight
this
 is the City of Amsterdam, where the introduction of bike lanes has helped reduce
traffic
 congestion in a very effective way. In conclusion, reducing the need for the public to travel to their workplace and shopping stores is only addressing a small part of
traffic
 problems in
cities
. The government should focus on introducing more effective solutions to the problem.
Submitted by ramtariqh on

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task achievement
The essay responds well to the task, but try to consider counterarguments more explicitly to strengthen your position.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure your points are directly tied to the main argument to maintain clarity.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, contributing to a well-structured response.
task achievement
You used relevant examples effectively, particularly the example of Amsterdam's bike lanes.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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