IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing house work in households in one country between 1920 and 2019.

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The line graph illustrates the changes in ownership of electrical
appliances
Use synonyms
 and
amount
Correct article usage
the amount
show examples
 of time spent doing
house
Correct your spelling
housework
work
Use synonyms
 in households in one
counrty
Correct your spelling
country
 between 1920 and 2019.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 all three electrical
appliances
Use synonyms
including
Punctuation problem
, including
show examples
Washing
Correct article usage
the washing
show examples
 machine,
Refrigerator
Use synonyms
 and Vacuum cleaener
were
Punctuation problem
were,
show examples
 increased over the period.
Overall
Linking Words
, as the
Use synonyms
appliances percentage
Correct word order
percentage of appliances
show examples
 rose
the
Punctuation problem
, the
show examples
 figures
of house
Change preposition
for housework
show examples
work
Use synonyms
 increased during the period. In 1920,
Refrigerator
Use synonyms
 was the lowest percentage
anout
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
 under 10%. The most popular appliance was
Washing
Correct article usage
the washing
show examples
 machine in 40%.
In addition
Linking Words
,
percentage
Correct article usage
the percentage
show examples
 of
house
Correct your spelling
housework
work
Use synonyms
 in
household
Check wording
households
show examples
 was appoximately 50% in 1920.
However
Linking Words
,
Refrigeratior
Correct your spelling
Refrigeration
 figure increased about 82% sharply in 1960 and
then
Linking Words
flatend
Wrong verb form
flattened
show examples
 until 2019. Vacuum cleaner was similar to
Use synonyms
Refrigerator
Correct article usage
a refrigerator
show examples
, which was increased gradually
through out
Correct your spelling
throughout
 the period in 2000. Washing machine was the most
consumption
Replace the word
consumed
 in 1920, but as time
goes
Wrong verb form
went
show examples
 by
it
Punctuation problem
, it
show examples
 rose 20%, 40% to 60%, and
then
Linking Words
 it
fluctuating in
Wrong verb form
fluctuated
show examples
 between 70% to 80%, which
become
Wrong verb form
became
show examples
 the lowest number of
appliances
Use synonyms
. Vacuum cleaner and
Use synonyms
Refrigerator meets
Correct subject-verb agreement
refrigerator meet
show examples
 at the same point 100% in 2000, which means almost
of the
Correct determiner usage
all
show examples
 people using the
appliances
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, as people use the
machines
Punctuation problem
machines,
show examples
 they do less hose
work
Use synonyms
 50% to 10%.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 75%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words appliances, work, refrigerator with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "changes" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 4 times.
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