IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many mesuems charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

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Many
mesuems
Use synonyms
 decides
charge
Use synonyms
 for admission. I considered that
this
Linking Words
 implementation was appropriate and
neccessary
Correct your spelling
necessary
. First of all,
Use synonyms
mesuems
Correct your spelling
museums
 have
daily
Correct article usage
a daily
show examples
 fee that
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
 to
spend
Wrong verb form
be spent
show examples
. Opening a
mesuems
Use synonyms
 expect for manage
Use synonyms
exhibition
Check wording
exhibitions
show examples
 and
goods
Use synonyms
, it
also
Linking Words
 requires employees to maintain the security of
Linking Words
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
show examples
goods
Use synonyms
, population
restrictation
Correct your spelling
restriction
.
That s
Punctuation problem
That's
show examples
 a running a
mesuem
Use synonyms
 necessary output. If the
mesuem
Use synonyms
 do not take
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
charge
Use synonyms
 with
citizens
Use synonyms
, they
requires
Correct subject-verb agreement
require
show examples
 seeking help
with
Change preposition
from
show examples
 the government, some organisations may establish funds.
However
Linking Words
, these
fundings
Replace the word
funds
 are not
easily
Replace the word
easy
 to apply
.
Change preposition
for.
show examples
 Except for its
competitive
Replace the word
competitiveness
, the government and related organisations
foused
Correct your spelling
focused
 on the
values
Use synonyms
 that the
Use synonyms
mesuems
Correct your spelling
museums
 earned. The
mesuem
Use synonyms
 do not demonstrate the
values
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as insufficient attraction to tourists. These
organistaion
Correct your spelling
organisations
 will not maintain fundings to them.
Hence
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
mesuems
Correct your spelling
museums
 take
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
charge
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 daily use
that is
Linking Words
 appropriate.
Moreover
Linking Words
, taking
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
charge
Use synonyms
 with
citizens
Use synonyms
 or tourists that
remains
Verb problem
maintains
show examples
 the
quality
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
mesuems
Correct your spelling
museums
. Many tourists or
citizens
Use synonyms
 deemed free
charge
Use synonyms
 that proper a family go to or attract some
citizens
Use synonyms
 who is only desire walking in the indoor without watching a
goods
Use synonyms
 in the
exhibition
Use synonyms
. They decrease the
quality
Use synonyms
 of the
Use synonyms
mesuems
Correct your spelling
media
 and
product
Replace the word
produce
 the impact that
influence
Correct subject-verb agreement
influences
show examples
 people who
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
desire to watch
goods
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, taking
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
charge
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
citizens
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 maintain
Use synonyms
quality
Correct article usage
the quality
show examples
 of the
Use synonyms
mesuem
Correct your spelling
museum
.
Besides
Linking Words
, the advantage of
Use synonyms
mesuems
Correct your spelling
museums
 taking
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
charge
Use synonyms
 that product an ecomic
values
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
 is only representing cultural landmarks. As a Hong Kong
exhibition
Use synonyms
, they take
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
charge
Use synonyms
 when you enter. Except for reproduction in cultural
values
Use synonyms
,
its
Correct pronoun usage
it's
show examples
also
Linking Words
 created economic
values
Use synonyms
. The benefits is
mesuems
Use synonyms
 do not
seemed
Wrong verb form
seem
show examples
 as no vaule item.
it
Fix capitalization
It
show examples
 has exact economic
values
Use synonyms
 that
worth
Verb problem
are worth
show examples
to retain
Wrong verb form
retaining
show examples
.
Thus
Linking Words
, taking
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
charge
Use synonyms
 that
Use synonyms
mesuems
Correct your spelling
museums
 generate economic
values
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, some argued that taking
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
charge
Use synonyms
 will decline attraction among
citizens
Use synonyms
. I considered real love in watching
Use synonyms
exhibition
Correct article usage
an exhibition
show examples
 that
willing
Verb problem
was willing
show examples
 to pay the ticket.
Due to
Linking Words
 they understeadm maintains the
exhibition
Use synonyms
that is
Linking Words
 spending numerous money. 
Finally
Linking Words
, taking
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
charge
Use synonyms
 in mesuemes for daily
maintainence
Correct your spelling
maintenance
, creation
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 economic
values
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
remains
Wrong verb form
maintaining
show examples
 the
quality
Use synonyms
 of mesuemes
that
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
 these advantages more than disadvantages. Despite some
discuss
Replace the word
discussion,
 taking
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
charge
Use synonyms
 will decline in
attraction
Correct article usage
the attraction
show examples
 of
citizens
Use synonyms
 willingly
go
Wrong verb form
going
show examples
 to the
meuems
Correct your spelling
museums
.

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task response
Make your main answer very clear in the first part and keep the same view all through the essay.
task response
Add one or two clear examples to support each main point.
task response
Explain the bad side more clearly, then show why the good side is still stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Put one main idea in each paragraph and start with a clear topic sentence.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple linking words like first, also, however, and finally in a careful way.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each sentence connects clearly to the one before it.
task response
You answer the question and give a clear opinion for charging money.
task response
You include more than one reason, such as cost, quality, and money value.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has clear paragraphs and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use linking words to show order, like first, moreover, besides, however, and finally.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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