IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Around the world, people are now living longer than ever before in the past. Is this a positive or negative development ?

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In my opinion, I would say it is a positive evolution as individuals are now thriving longer. My reason would be, in
this
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 generation, a lot of people have realised the amazing benefits of
excercises
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exercises
, eating a well-balanced meal, which comprises of fibres , proteins, carbohydrates and every other
nutrients
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nutrient
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 to keep fueling the body.
For example
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, studies have shown that walking 10,000 steps a day has a lot of
advantage
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advantages
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 to the body
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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alot
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a lot
 of people are getting on with
this
Linking Words
,
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.
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 I have been able to have conversations around
this
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 topic with individuals, just to get a glimpse of what seems to be working for them and how they are thriving. One had mentioned, he has been on a calorie deficit plan for years, just
beign
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being
 able to understand what the body needs, in the right proportion and the manner
at
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in
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 which
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this
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these
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 meals are prepared matters
alot
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a lot
.
Alot
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A lot
 of
this
Linking Words
 older
pople
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people
, the younger adults and adults in general
has
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have
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 taken healthy living evolution around the globe as a thing of utmost priority for having a thriving life. With the world turning into a digital space, it makes it easier to get access to resources, equipments and guides on what to use. In
conlusion
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conclusion
, I would agree
this
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 is a positive growth, as thriving longer is something every individual hopes for in their
life time
Correct your spelling
lifetime
.

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task response
Answer both parts more fully. Say clearly why longer life is good, and also show one possible bad side before you choose your view.
task response
Build each main idea with a clear reason and a clear example. Some ideas are there, but they need more detail.
task response
Stay close to the question. Write more about living longer in the world, not only about food and exercise.
coherence and cohesion
Use a clearer plan: intro, one body part for reason one, one body part for reason two, then conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas more smoothly. Some parts jump fast from one point to another.
coherence and cohesion
Make each paragraph have one main point. This will help the essay feel more easy to follow.
task response
Your view is clear from the start: you think this is positive.
task response
You give real examples about health, food, and walking, which helps your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has both an opening and an ending.
coherence and cohesion
Most ideas are in a simple order, so the reader can follow the general meaning.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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