IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

"Some people believe that it would be better if the world had only one language for communication. To what extent do you agree or disagree?"

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More and more people think that having a
one
Correct word choice
single
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 standard
language
Use synonyms
 for every nation is more advantageous than having multiple
languages
Use synonyms
. In my opinion, I completely disagree with
this
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 statement
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 I believe that
while
Linking Words
 a common
language
Use synonyms
 will improve communication, the loss of diversity would be a disaster. First of all, I believe that
language
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 is a key
for
Change preposition
to
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 cultural identity and history and a unique
way
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 to identify specific countries. In fact, every single
language
Use synonyms
 has a unique
way
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 to express
your own self
Correct pronoun usage
oneself
show examples
 and different stories to tell.
Although
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 using a single
language
Use synonyms
 will
be
Verb problem
make it
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 easy to communicate, people can observe the huge impact on culture and heritage for every nation. In 2023, a study published by New York University concluded that every
language
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 has
their
Fix the agreement mistake
its
show examples
 own words
,
Punctuation problem
;
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 some
languages
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they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
don't have certain
word
Fix the agreement mistake
words
show examples
.
Therefore
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, using only one
language
Use synonyms
 can affect every country, specifically its culture and history.
In addition
Linking Words
, I believe that
single
Correct article usage
a single
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language
Use synonyms
 may lead to
monoculture
Correct article usage
a monoculture
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 where everyone
speak
Correct subject-verb agreement
speaks
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 in the same
way
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 and
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 similar ideas. What I mean is that having one
language
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 can prevent biodiversity
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 many people cannot express their perspectives in
proper
Correct article usage
the proper
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way
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, there are many advantages of being polyglots
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
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 as thinking in different
Use synonyms
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
show examples
 and
to keep
Wrong verb form
keeping
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 your brain active.
For example
Linking Words
, bilingual individuals are better
in
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at
show examples
 learning and
in
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apply
show examples
expressing their emotions compared to those who speak only a single
language
Use synonyms
.
As a result
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, learning
languages
Use synonyms
 is beneficial for brain activity and a
way
Use synonyms
 to express
feeling
Check wording
feelings
show examples
. In conclusion, I believe that we should encourage learning
languages
Use synonyms
 to improve our communication and respect our diversity as humans.

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task response
Answer the question more directly in each body part. Show more clearly why you disagree.
task response
Add one or two more clear examples to support your main ideas.
task response
Explain your ideas a little more. Some points are good but still too general.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words carefully. Some sentences connect well, but some ideas jump too fast.
coherence and cohesion
Make each paragraph follow one clear main idea only, then explain it step by step.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence flow. A few parts are hard to follow because of grammar and word choice.
task response
You answer the topic clearly and give a strong opinion from the start.
task response
Your main ideas are relevant to the question: communication, culture, and diversity.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use basic linking words like first of all, in addition, and therefore.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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