IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantagee.

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Try for free →
Currntely
Correct your spelling
Currently
 in different parts of the world, the fast
mijority
Correct your spelling
majority
 of
people
Use synonyms
 are young
people
Use synonyms
 when comparing them with older ones.
Although
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon
rquired specefic afforts
Correct your spelling
required specific efforts
 from all
society
Use synonyms
 towerds youngesters, the benefits
are
Verb problem
apply
show examples
outweigh the drawbacks because
youth
Use synonyms
 is a main source for any improvement.
Youngersters
Correct your spelling
Youngsters
 are
rquired significent afforts
Correct your spelling
required significant efforts
 from
people
Use synonyms
 who are
responsiable
Correct your spelling
responsible
 for their
growing
Replace the word
growth
.Since youths are humans who are
follen
Correct your spelling
filled
 with energy,they can be a
blasing
Correct your spelling
blessing
 or a
cirs
Correct your spelling
curse
.
This
Linking Words
 is
deband
Correct your spelling
based
 on how
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
Use synonyms
take
Correct subject-verb agreement
takes
show examples
 care of them.
Linking Words
Therefore
Punctuation problem
Therefore,
show examples
 many governments are
spend
Wrong verb form
spending
show examples
 huge
offerts
Correct your spelling
amounts
 of them in different
.
Check wording
ways.
show examples
For example
Linking Words
, Saudi Arabia
is spend
Wrong verb form
spends
show examples
 a
bellun dollors annuly
Correct your spelling
billion dollars annually
 on
just
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 education field for youths and
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
show examples
 a reword for every young person enter university
almost
Punctuation problem
, almost
show examples
 3.75 dollars
ber a
Correct your spelling
per
 month.
However
Linking Words
, I believe the increasing of
youth
Use synonyms
 numbers
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 more benefits than its drawbacks. The
youth
Use synonyms
 are a main power element for
any
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
country
Check wording
country's
show examples
 success.If a government needs to
sucssed
Correct your spelling
succeed
 in any aspects, it will
defenetily
Correct your spelling
definitely
 need
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
young adults to
helpe
Correct your spelling
help
 it
implemnting
Correct your spelling
implement
 its goals
..
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
Therefore
Linking Words
,they are an
issential
Correct your spelling
essential
 element in any improvement process.
For instance
Linking Words
, in Newslanda used to
neglacte
Correct your spelling
neglect
 the massive impacts of
youth
Use synonyms
 in
society
Use synonyms
.
As a result
Linking Words
 of that, the crimes percantage was too high because of high
consumation
Replace the word
consumption
 of drags between youths.In
2015
Punctuation problem
2015,
show examples
 Newslanda
strated
Correct your spelling
started
 to
foucse
Correct your spelling
focus
 on the
youth
Use synonyms
 and how to
qui from
Correct your spelling
quit
 their bad habits and replace them with good ones. The results
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 unbelievable, the percentage of crimes has
reduesed
Correct your spelling
reduced
 from 70% to 15% in two
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I believe the advantages are more than
disadvantages
Correct article usage
the disadvantages
show examples
. In conclusion,
Althoughincreasing
Fix capitalization
although increasing
show examples
 the
numbers
Check wording
number
show examples
 of
youth
Use synonyms
 in
society
Use synonyms
rquired
Correct your spelling
required
 huge
afforts
Correct your spelling
efforts
. I am
convanced
Correct your spelling
convinced
 that the advantages of it
are
Verb problem
apply
show examples
outweigh its drawbacks because younger
people
Use synonyms
 are the main element for any
sucssful
Correct your spelling
successful
 process.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Answer the question more directly in each body part. Say clearly why the good points are stronger than the bad point.
task response
Add one clear bad point, then show why it is smaller than the good points. This will make your position stronger.
task response
Use simpler and clearer examples. Make sure each example clearly supports the main idea.
coherence and cohesion
Put one main idea in each paragraph only. This will make your writing easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a careful way, such as 'First', 'Also', 'However', and 'As a result'.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence order. Some ideas jump too fast, so the reader may get lost.
task response
You answer the question and give a clear opinion that the good points are greater than the bad point.
task response
You use examples about Saudi Arabia and New Zealand to support your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear intro, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Most paragraphs stay on the same general topic.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: