IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that government should subsidize fruits and vegetables to make healthy food cheaper. Other argue that text should be set on on healthy food. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Few people think
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 should reduce the
prices
Use synonyms
 of fruits and vegetables,
while
Linking Words
 others argue there should be
tax
Correct article usage
a tax
show examples
 on healthy
food
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. Healthy
food
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need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
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 to be affordable for low-income individuals
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 producing organic
food
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 is not cheap. I will provide my opinion in the essay
why
Change preposition
on why
show examples
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 need to
prioritize
Change the spelling
prioritise
show examples
citizens
Check wording
citizens'
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 health and provide
affordable
Punctuation problem
affordable,
show examples
 healthier
food
Use synonyms
 options. People who are in low-wage occupations find it difficult to find cheap sources of healthier
food
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 options
now-a-days
Correct your spelling
nowadays
. Because of the rising health problems, it is important to have a proper diet for every individual.
Food
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 is a major part of keeping a human body healthy
so
Punctuation problem
, so
show examples
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
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 should make a deal with
coorporations
Correct your spelling
corporations
 that produce organic
food
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 and sell other
health related
Correct your spelling
health-related
products
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 to maintain a cap on their
prices
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 in order to make sure everybody can purchase their merchandise irrespective of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
income.
For instance
Linking Words
, an UK based company sells organic juices made of green
leafes
Correct your spelling
leaves
 and vegetables without expecting much
profits
Fix the agreement mistake
profit
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, they are selling their
products
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 for affordable
prices
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 to reach everyone and spreading the word to stay healthy. The reason others
arguing
Wrong verb form
argue
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 over raising costs on healthy
products
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 is because of the high production costs. If we understand the difference between manufacturing hybrid
food
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 processing and organic
food
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, the ingredients for harvesting a fruit without chemicals or using unnatural methods consumes lot of time, sources like water, manpower and good land
had
Wrong verb form
have
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 to be available
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 is a heavy expense for businesses. In order to break-even and gain profits
it
Punctuation problem
, it
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 is understandable from
corporations
Check wording
a corporation's
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 point of view
for keeping
Wrong verb form
to keep
show examples
 the
prices
Use synonyms
 high on their
products
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.
Overall
Linking Words
, in my opinion,
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government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 should put
common
Correct article usage
the common
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people
Check wording
people's
show examples
 problems first before corporations, so they need to find a
commonground
Correct your spelling
common ground
 with companies by supporting each other by investing in healthy
food
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products
Use synonyms
 production activities and cut down the
prices
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 to reach low-income families as well.

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task response
Answer both sides more fully. You talk more about low price food, but the part about tax is not clear enough.
task response
Give a clear opinion in one simple line. Say if you agree with lower prices or tax, and keep this view the same in all parts.
task response
Use one clear main idea in each body part, then explain it with one simple example.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas more clearly with simple words like first, also, however, and overall.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are too long and hard to follow. Make them shorter.
coherence and cohesion
Check paragraph focus. The second body part should explain the other side more directly.
coherence and cohesion
You have an introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
task response
Your opinion is clear in the end: the government should help make healthy food cheaper.
task response
You try to use an example to support your idea.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • subsidize = help lower the price
  • healthy food = food that is good for the body
  • unhealthy food / junk food = food with too much sugar, fat, or salt
  • tax = extra money paid to the government
  • affordable = cheap enough to buy
  • low-income families = families with little money
  • public health = the health of people in a country
  • eating habits = the food choices people make often
  • encourage = make people more likely to do something
  • discourage = make people less likely to do something
  • reduce obesity = help lower the number of overweight people
  • medical costs = money spent on health care
  • balanced diet = eating different kinds of healthy food
  • sugary drinks = drinks with a lot of sugar
  • long-term benefit = a good result in the future
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