IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Nowdays animal experiments are widely used to develop new medicines and to test the safety of other products. Some people argue that these experiments should be banned because it is morally wrong to cause animals to suffer, while others are in favour of them because of their benefits to humanity. Discuss both views.

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Many people believe that using animals' lives for testing products on their safety is completely wrong.
While
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 others argue that using animals helps the community in medical research,
such
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 as life-saving drugs or daily goods.
This
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 essay will carefully
analize
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analyse
 both perspectives. On the one hand, Animal testing should be banned because some experiments are not always fully true for humans, their boddy differences from humans body. Using them
on
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for
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 that purpose can not bring any results.
Also
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, some of these tests are not
even
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only
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 for life-saving medicines, but
also
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 for beauty products or daily goods.
Its
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It's
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 unfair testing unnecesary products on animal
body
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bodies
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. On the other
perspective
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hand
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,
such
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 kind of experimentation already
give
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gives
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 scientific progress
on
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in
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 testing life-saving drugs. Supporters say that animal experiments have helped scientists create important medicines, vaccines, and treatments. Many people are alive today
,
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apply
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 because new drugs were tested before being given to patients.
Moreover
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, animal testing helps to check if a product is dangerous before humans use it.
This
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 can reduce the risk of serious harm, illness or death in medical research. In conclusion, Animal experiments shouldn't be fully accepted or fully rejected. They should be used only for essential medical research, under strong control,
while
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 other companies and
government
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the government
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 invest more
on
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in
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 other testing methods.

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task response
Answer both sides in a more equal way. Your first body part is shorter and less clear than the second one.
coherence and cohesion
Make your main idea very clear at the start of each body part.
task response
Add one simple example for each side to make your ideas stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words more carefully, like 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', and 'For example'.
task response
Explain why some animal tests do not help human health. This part is now too short.
coherence and cohesion
Keep sentence order simple: idea, reason, example.
task response
You answered both views and gave your own final opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear intro, two body parts, and a conclusion.
task response
The topic stays on animal testing all through the essay.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion is clear and gives a balanced view.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • animal testing
  • medical research
  • new medicines
  • safety test
  • morally wrong
  • animal suffering
  • feel pain
  • cause harm
  • human benefit
  • save lives
  • life-saving drugs
  • scientific progress
  • strict rules
  • limited use
  • alternative methods
  • beauty products
  • daily goods
  • protect animals
  • reduce risk
  • public health
  • ethical issue
  • test results
  • human body
  • animal body
  • ban completely
  • under control
  • necessary research
  • serious illness
  • safe treatment
  • develop vaccines
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