In some countries, older people are choosing to live in retirement communities with other older people rather than living with their adult children. Is it a positive or negative development?

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this

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modern era, some elderly people prefer to reside in a

retirement

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center

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centre

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with other senior citizens rather than residing with their children. I

Verb problem

apply

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totally agree with

this

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matter , and in

this

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essay I will discuss the aspects

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it and explain why I am in agreement. One major supporting factor is that, nowadays, most of the adults have many responsibilities,

in addition

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to taking

care

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of their parents during their elderly age.

Moreover

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, senior citizens require more

care

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in terms of their physical and mental aspects.

Therefore

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, the majority of adults find it difficult to provide necessary support for their parents at

their

Correct determiner usage

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older age.

On the other hand

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retirement

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centers

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centres

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consist of various features and facilities that elders might find favourable for their day-to-day life.

For example

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, there are personalised activities for maintaining their physical and mental health

and

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, and

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there are experienced individuals

such

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as doctors and caretakers to take

care

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of them.

Secondly

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, mental health is one of the major aspects that gets affected during their final years

due to

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their older age , and

currently

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currently,

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many children don't have adequate time to spend with them to provide the required support regarding

this

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matter.

Nevertheless

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, in a community of retired individuals, it is most likely to have similar-minded people who might have the same interests

and

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, and

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it is

favorable

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favourable

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for their mentality, rather than living alone during most of the day inside a house.

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, in

China

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China,

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there are a lot of

retirement

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facilities that have dancing, music, gardening and various types of groups that older people can contribute to and enjoy their time with each other.

To sum up

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, for retired individuals, it is significantly beneficial to reside in a

retirement

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home, rather than living with their busy children who don't have time to provide the affection and

care

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that they deserve.

Hence

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, generally speaking, the former trend is a positive development towards elders.

chathuldildilshan

Jun 22, 2026

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task response

Use the right form: say 'I totally agree', not 'I am totally agree'.

task response

Make your main idea more direct in the first paragraph. State clearly why this is positive.

task response

Explain your ideas a little more deeply. Some points are good, but a few are still general.

coherence and cohesion

Check if each sentence links clearly to the one before it. A few parts feel long and a bit hard to follow.

coherence and cohesion

Use simple linking words well, like 'first', 'also', 'as a result', and 'in contrast'.

coherence and cohesion

Avoid very long sentences with many ideas. Split them into two sentences to make your meaning clearer.

task response

You answer the question clearly and give a clear opinion from the start.

coherence and cohesion

Your two main body paragraphs each have one clear main point.

task response

You use examples like China and activities in retirement homes to support your ideas.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear beginning, middle, and ending.

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

322 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

old people
home
care
family
children
adult
choice
positive
negative
good
bad
life
well
health
safety
cost
money
support
social
friends
talk
visit
together
apart
independence
privacy
plan
policy
culture
value
well-being
burden
stress
care home
retirement
community
option
need
prefer
quality
risk
trust
communication
family ties
life in old age
access
services
activity
support

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