It is important for people to take risks, in both their professional lives and personal lives. Do the advantages of taking these risks outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Try for free →
Many
people
Use synonyms
think that taking
risks
Use synonyms
in work and personal
life
Use synonyms
is very important. In my opinion, I believe that taking
risks
Use synonyms
has more advantages than disadvantages because it helps
people
Use synonyms
success
Replace the word
succeed
and learn new things.
Firstly
Linking Words
, taking
risks
Use synonyms
can have some bad results. If you take a risk in business, you can lose a lot of money.
For example
Linking Words
, many
people
Use synonyms
start a new restaurant
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
they fail and lose all their money
Punctuation problem
. This
show examples
this
Linking Words
makes them very sad and stressed.
Secondly
Linking Words
, in personal
life
Use synonyms
, taking dangerous
risks
Use synonyms
like extreme sports can cause
bad
Correct article usage
a bad
show examples
accident
Punctuation problem
accident,
show examples
you can get hurt or have to go to the hospital.
Therefore
Linking Words
, we need to be careful when we take
risks
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, I think the advantages are much bigger. In professional
life
Use synonyms
,
If
Fix capitalization
if
show examples
you do not take
risks
Use synonyms
, you cannot get a better job
to start
Punctuation problem
. Starting
show examples
a new company is risky, but it can make you rich and happy. Many famous business
people
Use synonyms
become successful because they tried new things. In personal
life
Use synonyms
, taking
risks
Use synonyms
helps you make new friends and change your
life
Use synonyms
. If you move to a new city, you might feel lonely at
first,
Linking Words
but later you can gradually find a good job and a beautiful
life
Use synonyms
. It makes
people
Use synonyms
stronger and more confident
Linking Words
then
Use the right word
than
show examples
. In conclusion, taking
risks
Use synonyms
can be dangerous and make
people
Use synonyms
lose money.
However
Linking Words
, I believe that the benefits are more important because it brings success, happiness, and good experience in both job and
life
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Answer the main question more clearly in each body part. Show why the good points are stronger than the bad points.
task response
Give one or two more clear examples. This will make your ideas stronger and easier to believe.
task response
Explain your ideas a little more. Some points are good, but they are short.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words more carefully. Some sentences need better connection.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence order and stop long sentences. This will make your writing easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Make each paragraph focus on one clear main idea and then support it.
task response
You answer both sides and give your opinion clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, body, and end.
coherence and cohesion
The main ideas are easy to understand.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Opportunities
  • Growth
  • Innovation
  • Challenges
  • Self-discovery
  • Resilience
  • Uncertainty
  • Consequences
  • Calculated risks
  • Stagnation
  • Regret
  • Comfort zone
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Adventurous spirit
  • Thriving
  • Failure
  • Mitigate
  • Reap the rewards
What to do next:
Look at other essays: