IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart below shows the number of tourists in three nations who travel to Australia in 2005 and 2015. The graph below shows the number of tourists who use two types for holiday.

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The graphs illustrate how many
tourists
Use synonyms
 from different countries
traveled
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travelled
show examples
 to Australia in 2005 and 2015, and the
number
Use synonyms
 of
tourists
Use synonyms
 who use two types
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 holiday.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that the highest
number
Use synonyms
 of
tourists
Use synonyms
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
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 from Japan in 2005,
while
Linking Words
 the
UK
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 and the US
remained with
Verb problem
had
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 lower
level
Check wording
levels
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 of
tourists
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, in 2015, both the
UK
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 and the US increased dramatically,
while
Linking Words
 Japan decreased in
Use synonyms
number
Correct article usage
the number
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 of
tourists
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.
In addition
Linking Words
, staying at
resort
Correct article usage
a resort
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 remained the most popular type of holiday
untill
Correct your spelling
until
 2010. After that point, it went down drastically. Backpacking had an upward trend during the entire period. Moving to a more detailed analysis, Australia had 800 000
tourists
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 from the
UK
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 in 2005.
This
Linking Words
 amount rose to 1 500 000 in 2015. The US
datas
Correct your spelling
data
 remained the smallest in 2005 (450 000). Despite
this
Linking Words
 fact, it grew to 1 500 000 in 2015, reaching the same level as the
UK
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. Japan was
at the
Change preposition
in
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 first place with 1 500 000 in 2005, but fell to 1 000 000 in 2015. Regardless types of holidays, backpacking was
choosen
Correct your spelling
chosen
 by nearly 400 000
tourists
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 in 2005, but
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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then
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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gained rise
Verb problem
rose
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 to nearly 1 250 000 in 2015. In comparison, staying at
resort
Correct article usage
a resort
show examples
 was more popular from 2005 to 2010, reaching nearly 2 500 000 at peak. From 2010 to 2015,
this
Linking Words
number
Use synonyms
 reduced to 1 250 000 tourist, which is the same level as backpacking.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words tourists, number, uk with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 3 times.
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