Many countries have compulsory military service for young men after they leave school. It would be a good idea for all countries to adopt this system for men, and possibly for women too. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?
In our contemporary society, the phenomenon of having compulsory army service for young men just after they finish school has long been a subject of debate. Some societies have a notion that it can be beneficial to adopt the aforementioned system in all parts of the world for males and females. In the forthcoming paragraphs,
this
essay will elucidate the reasons why I cannot concur with this
tendency wholeheartedly and offer a reasonable conclusion from my standpoint.
First and foremost, it is important to emphasize the significance of military powers in the place of the countries worldwide. Thus
, there is no doubt that the influential countries have an army which has a plethora of well-trained members and these military services contain the young generation of men. Therefore
, if it is obligatory for the graduates from schools, it means the country may have a myriad of soldiers in their armed forces. Additionally
, with the attraction of women to military arrays, specific regions can harness the advantages of having females in their armies such
as increased quantity.
Conversely
, it is clear that
the future of any country completely relies on educated scientists, doctors, and lawyers. Hence
, when the youth start to join the army, the number of people with high academic degrees begins to diminish. Perhaps an eminent example of this
would be the 44-Day Karabagh War, which lots of martyrs. When the war began, students from various majors decided to go to the place of war, and as a result
, a huge portion of them became martyrs and could not get their diplomas.
In conclusion, after having meticulously discussed all the aspects of this
idea, it is evident that we can see the potential merits of having plenty of soldiers, while
the higher education of the population should be the highest priority regardless of age or gender. I am a staunch believer that it should not be mandatory in the wake of the above-mentioned points, whereas
other ways such
as questioning their willingness and goals can be the best ways to protect posterity from the potential threats of it.Submitted by writingbhos on
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task achievement
You've made a compelling argument by presenting a balanced view. To enhance clarity and argument strength, consider adding more diversified examples across different countries or contexts to support your points.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, try to connect your paragraphs and ideas more seamlessly. Use transitional phrases and ensure each paragraph flows naturally into the next for a smoother reading experience.
coherence cohesion
Your essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your argument.
task achievement
You adeptly discuss the complexity of the topic, showcasing a deep understanding of its implications.
task achievement
The use of specific examples, like the 44-Day Karabagh War, enriches your argument, providing tangible evidence to support your stance.