IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

As people rely more and more on technology to solve problems, the ability of humans to think for themselves will surely deteriorate. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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The advancement in technological innovation has been influential in the evolution of the modern lifestyle. In fact, it provided solutions to problems that
it
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apply
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became indispensable to humans, and some claim that relying on automation declines human abilities to think critically. In my opinion, I believe that total dependence on high technologies will eventually deteriorate human thinking skills as the brain becomes stagnant. Technological dependency causes more problems than solutions it offers. It harms the brain’s activity to become less active;
consequently
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, excessive computer use weakens cognitive engagement. Research indicates that individuals who frequently rely on artificial intelligence
on
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apply
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have reduced brain activity
I
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in
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 scans compared to those who rarely use digital applications. These findings provide proof that if people rely more and more on these digital platforms, without a doubt, the deterioration of human intelligence will be inevitable.
On the other hand
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, development in applied science significantly improved efficiency at work. Manual work, especially in the manufacturing industries, became easier and lighter
due to
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 the inventions of robotics.
Moreover
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, with the help of digital software, redundant tasks were eliminated
that
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, that
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 save more time. Workflows within organisations become smooth and seamless. Task scheduler can be automated, large volume of files can be maintained and accessed without delay.
However
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, these technological benefits must not hinder people from continuously hone its analytic skills as computer needs human input to advance progressively. In conclusion, people must not totally rely on technology for finding solutions to problems, as it leads to the degeneration of thinking capabilities.
While
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 there are useful inventions to human race,
this
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 still requires smart and intellectual inputs of humans to progressively improve.

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task response
Make your main view more clear from the start and keep it the same all through the essay.
task response
Add one more clear example to support your ideas, not only a general research point.
task response
Explain your ideas a bit more so each point fully answers the question.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words more carefully so ideas join in a smooth way.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence order in some parts because a few lines are hard to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Make each body paragraph focus on one main idea with clear support.
task response
You answer the question and give a clear opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
task response
You use examples about AI, work, and robotics to support your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion matches your main view.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Over-reliance
  • Cognitive capabilities
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Diminish
  • Augment
  • Natural sense of direction
  • Access to information
  • Cognitive development
  • Education reforms
  • Technological advancement
  • Nuanced position
  • Recapitulate
  • Affirm
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