IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Many people prefer to watch foreign films rather than locally produced films. Why could this be? Should governments give more financial support to local film industries?

People tend to
most likely
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
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enjoy external films more than local
movies
Use synonyms
, because of different information and
type
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types
show examples
 of culture. And so governments should help financially the ones that are smaller in scale.
Linking Words
Firstly
Punctuation problem
Firstly,
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 humans prefer
movies
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 from all around the world rather than from their own country because they are more likely to show different points of view, and diversified information.
This
Linking Words
 offers more entertainment and could make people more curious about external things.
For example
Linking Words
, most
french
Fix capitalization
French
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 citizens watch more
often
Rephrase
apply
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movies
Use synonyms
 from America
Linking Words
then
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than
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 from France. Or people from small
countries
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 like Panama will watch more
european
Fix capitalization
European
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movies
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
Furthermore
Add a comma
Furthermore,
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 the
countries
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 should offer some type of assistance, though very small
countries
Use synonyms
 are not areas that attract filmmakers because the results can be uncertain,
consequently
Linking Words
 making less money. But if they perceive any financial
aid
Punctuation problem
aid,
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 they will be more likely to take risks.
For
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example
Punctuation problem
example,
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 in big
countries
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 like France or
Spain
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Spain,
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 they have much more budget
Punctuation problem
, being
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being
Verb problem
making them
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 more attractive to every production team. In
conclusion
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conclusion,
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 international
movies
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 are more attractive than local
format
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formats
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 for their diversification, and
the
Correct article usage
apply
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public
aids
Fix the agreement mistake
aid
show examples
 should be perceived in
movies
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 to make the creation of
this
Linking Words
 art all around, even in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
small
countries
Use synonyms
.

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coherence
Make a clear plan before you write. State the main idea in the first paragraph and keep it in all other parts.
coherence
Link ideas with simple words like and, but, also, for example. Use good transitions to move from one idea to the next.
development
Give one strong reason for each point and add a clear example to back it up.
grammar
Use short, clear sentences. Check subject and verb and punctuation.
accuracy
Be careful with facts. If you say a fact, show it is an example or say it is a guess.
task response
Stay on the task. Answer both questions directly and keep the focus on why people watch foreign films and if the gov should help.
content
The text shows a clear view that the gov should help small film groups.
examples
There are holes of example to back up the point.
structure
Intro, body, and conclusion are in place.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Globalization
  • Cultural exchange
  • Cinematic expertise
  • Diverse narratives
  • Enriching cultural experience
  • Linguistic proficiency
  • Cinematography advancements
  • Government subsidies
  • Promote local talent
  • Economic sustainability
What to do next:
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