Many people prefer to watch foreign films rather than locally produced films. Why could this be? Should governments give more financial support to local film industries?

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It is true that many
people
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prefer to watch films from other
land
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lands
show examples
and countries
especially
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, especially
show examples
in developing ones. There are many reasons explaining why
this
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happens which
i
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I
show examples
would
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will
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explain in
this
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essay. Being the first reason, that many
people
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that
Correct pronoun usage
who
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lives
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live
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in developing countries and
speaks
Correct subject-verb agreement
speak
show examples
a not very common language are
interesting
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interested
show examples
in learning another language like
english
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English
show examples
, being the movies and
tv
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TV
show examples
show
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shows
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a very good and interesting way. Not only that but being able to know more about
difference
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different
show examples
cultures and traditions and the
foreigner
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foreign
show examples
country itself, making the
people
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more
open minded
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open-minded
show examples
and ways of living. I think that in order to sustain the
film
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business, get
people
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to see more films made in their own country, and help the sector become more well-known, the
government
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should assist it. Every
nation
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has some gifted actors, producers, and filmmakers who are unable to achieve their full potential
due to
Linking Words
a lack of political and
financialhelp
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financial help
. We have t to offer them an
oportunity
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opportunity
to
redem
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redeem
themselves. Larger budgets are surely needed to produce
higher-caliber
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higher-calibre
show examples
movies, and the
government
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need to fund
people
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or agencies to support the growth of the regional
film
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industry. More
people
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would visit
theaters
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theatres
show examples
to see these films and generate more revenue if the
government
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supported the
film
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business in
adition
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addition
,
good
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to good
show examples
movies would represent the
nation
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with distinction and
compete
Wrong verb form
competing
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on a global scale. In conclusion, the
government
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of any
nation
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should encourage its
film
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industry since it will help local productions become more well-known and bring in revenue and prestige for the
nation
Use synonyms
Submitted by santos_dij on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay's structure requires improvements, including clearer paragraphing and better use of cohesive devices for smoother transitions. Develop paragraphs with a main idea each and use linking words effectively.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that both the introduction and the conclusion are clearly defined and that they effectively introduce and summarize the essay's main points, respectively.
coherence cohesion
Expand upon your main points with specific examples or explanations to support your arguments. Unsupported claims reduce the effectiveness of your argument.
task achievement
You should aim to fully address both parts of the question to achieve a higher score for task achievement. Your essay does touch upon why people might favor foreign films and why governments should support local industries, but your response lacks full development and specific examples to strengthen your points.
task achievement
Clarify and develop your ideas more comprehensively to provide a thorough understanding of the topics discussed. Ambiguity in conveying your thoughts can lead to a lower score for task achievement.
task achievement
You should incorporate relevant, specific examples to reinforce and illustrate your arguments. The use of generalizations without concrete examples detracts from the strength of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Globalization
  • Cultural exchange
  • Cinematic expertise
  • Diverse narratives
  • Enriching cultural experience
  • Linguistic proficiency
  • Cinematography advancements
  • Government subsidies
  • Promote local talent
  • Economic sustainability
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