IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Many people prefer to watch foreign films rather than locally produced films. Why could this be? Should governments give more financial support to local film industries?

In today’s society, people would rather watch a film which has been created in another country rather than watching one locally produced. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, we will discuss how foreign productions usually tend to have higher quality production because of their financial assistance and how governments should give more financial support to their local companies. Foreign film productions are very big projects where multiple companies from around the world are involved to fund the movie.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the more money you can have access to produce a movie, the more resources you have and more people can get involved to help you create a Blockbuster
that is
Linking Words
 going to have an international impact.
For example
Linking Words
, the Hollywood industry has completely overtaken small and locally produced films because of the number of firms waiting for new movies to be made to gain benefits from the international repercussions. Financial support is needed by local film industries and governments have the solution to help a very important and meaningful part of their culture. They should avoid the entertainment business becoming a monopoly where the strongest take the biggest piece of the cake giving financial assistance to local producers.
For instance
Linking Words
, in Spain, there is a very famous movie maker called Pedro Almodovar,
however
Linking Words
, he is not famous around the world because his own government has not given him enough funding support or credibility he deserves internationally and has not trusted him and his abilities to be able to create masterpieces.
To conclude
Linking Words
, films produced in other countries become more popular because of the money they are able to create and the accessibility to resources they have because of companies.
Additionally
Linking Words
, national entities shall give more visibility and trust to local producers to prevent a monopoly in the entertainment business.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
The introduction presents the topic well but could benefit from a clearer outline of the main points that will be discussed in the essay. Consider explicitly stating the points in the introduction to guide the reader.
coherence and cohesion
Consider using more cohesive devices (e.g., linking words) to enhance the flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs. This will help improve the overall coherence of your essay.
task achievement
While the examples used are relevant, providing additional, more detailed examples can strengthen your points and illustrate your arguments more effectively.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear opinion on the topic and addresses both parts of the question thoroughly, demonstrating an understanding of the subject matter.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the key points and reiterates the importance of the main arguments, providing a sense of closure to the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Globalization
  • Cultural exchange
  • Cinematic expertise
  • Diverse narratives
  • Enriching cultural experience
  • Linguistic proficiency
  • Cinematography advancements
  • Government subsidies
  • Promote local talent
  • Economic sustainability
What to do next:
Look at other essays: