IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many people prefer to watch foreign films rather than locally produced films. Why could this be? Should governments give more financial support to local film industries?

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Try for free →
A usual trend in many different regions of the
world
Use synonyms
 is the huge popularity of foreign films, many being American and Indian made. The main cause of that problem is the
overall
Linking Words
 lack of proper
infrastructures
Check wording
infrastructure
show examples
 in some countries. Yet it is really important for governments to start helping local cinema industries. In many countries, cultural programmes
such
Linking Words
 as
museum
Check wording
museums
show examples
, music or patrimony conservation are deemed too costly and a waste of public spending. In
this
Linking Words
 configuration, cinema is not a great
counter example
Correct your spelling
counterexample
. Out of all the entertainment media, it is the most
expansive
Correct word choice
expensive
show examples
, which can explain why poor nations often do not have the
infrastructures
Check wording
infrastructure
show examples
 necessary for a proper movie studio.
For instance
Linking Words
, the price of a quality camera can easily be in the thousands,
as well as
Linking Words
 a good
lightning
Check wording
lighting
show examples
 set. Even if some great films praised for their quality and mastery of the medium had limited budgets, the truth is that it is more of an exception than it is a commonality.
This
Linking Words
 causes a real hole in local filmmaking, explaining the attraction of foreign media For all
that many
Correct determiner usage
those
show examples
reasons
Punctuation problem
reasons,
show examples
 governments must invest in
this
Linking Words
 medium. Some may believe that because of the absence of infrastructure, there is an absence of talent, but they could not be more wrong. Public funding needs to be spent
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
by the government, for various reasons. For small nations, films have always been a way of showing themselves and their history to the
world
Use synonyms
, like the African country of Burundi in the movie “Petit Pays”.
Besides
Linking Words
, it doesn't even have to be a whole project that has to be paid for. It is entirely possible to simply open filming sets in scenic locations of a particular region.
That is
Linking Words
 how Iceland managed to have various fantasy movies filmed in
their
Fix the agreement mistake
its
show examples
 territory with its unique landscape.
To conclude
Linking Words
, the reason why foreign production outshines local
ones
Check wording
production
show examples
 is because of the low amount of structures in some parts of the
world
Use synonyms
. Local authorities should give more money to
this
Linking Words
 medium if they want their culture to be shown in the
world
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Answer both parts more directly. Say clearly why people watch foreign films, and say clearly why the government should help local films.
task response
Give one or two stronger main reasons only, then explain them in a simple and full way.
task response
Use examples that fit the main idea more closely. Some examples are interesting, but they need a clearer link to the question.
coherence and cohesion
Make each body paragraph have one clear main point. This will make your ideas easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a careful way. Some parts feel hard to follow because the links are not always natural.
coherence and cohesion
Develop each point step by step: main idea, explanation, then example.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear introduction and a clear ending.
task response
You answer both questions in the task.
task response
You use examples to support your ideas.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Globalization
  • Cultural exchange
  • Cinematic expertise
  • Diverse narratives
  • Enriching cultural experience
  • Linguistic proficiency
  • Cinematography advancements
  • Government subsidies
  • Promote local talent
  • Economic sustainability
What to do next:
Look at other essays: