IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that the best way to improve road safety is to increase the minimum legal age for driving cars or riding motorbikes. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is often argued that raising the minimum legal
age
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 for driving is the most effective way to improve
road
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safety
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.
While
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this
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 measure may have some short-term benefits, I believe that stricter enforcement of
traffic
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 laws is a more effective long-term solution for reducing
road
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 accidents. On the one hand, raising the legal driving
age
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 can contribute to improved
road
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safety
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 by reducing the presence of inexperienced and impulsive
drivers
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 on the
road
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. Younger individuals generally have less driving experience and underdeveloped risk perception, meaning they are more likely to underestimate hazards or overestimate their own abilities.
This
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 can result in behaviours
such
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 as speeding, distracted driving, or poor
judgement
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judgment
 in high-pressure situations. By delaying the
age
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 at which individuals are permitted to drive, governments may reduce the proportion of high-risk
drivers
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, which could lead to a short-term decline in accident rates.
On the other hand
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,
this
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 approach is limited in its effectiveness. In many countries,
traffic
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 violations
such
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 as speeding, drunk driving, and ignoring
traffic
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 signals remain major causes of
road
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 accidents, regardless of
age
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.
For
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this
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 reason, imposing stricter punishments for driving offences is likely to have a greater impact on
overall
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road
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safety
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. Harsher penalties,
such
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 as heavier fines, licence suspension, or imprisonment for serious violations, would act as a strong deterrent and encourage all
drivers
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 to follow
traffic
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 regulations more carefully.
This
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 ensures that
road
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safety
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 improvements are more comprehensive, as they apply to both young and older
drivers
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 who break the law. In conclusion,
although
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 raising the minimum driving
age
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 may help reduce accidents caused by inexperienced
drivers
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, I believe that stricter punishment and enforcement of
traffic
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 laws
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 a more effective and fairer way to improve
road
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safety
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overall
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.

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task response
For task response, your answer is clear and you give your opinion from the start. To get a higher score, add one more real or clear example to support your ideas.
task response
For task response, you answer all parts of the question, but you can explain your side a little more deeply in one body paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay is easy to follow and the ideas move in a clear order. To improve, use a few more linking words inside paragraphs to show cause and result.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, each paragraph has one main idea. To get a higher score, make one or two sentences connect even more smoothly.
task response
For task response, you clearly state your opinion and keep the same position through the whole essay.
task response
For task response, your main ideas are relevant to the question and well explained.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay has a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a strong conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your paragraphs are well organised and easy to understand.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • minimum legal age
  • increase road safety
  • maturity
  • rash decision-making
  • cognitive functions
  • risky behavior
  • traffic congestion
  • urban areas
  • core issues
  • proper training
  • adherence to traffic rules
  • road conditions
  • vehicle maintenance
  • stricter driving tests
  • enhancing road safety
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