IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Demand for food is increasing worldwide. What are the causes of this? What measures can the international community take to make sure the supply of food is enough?

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Try for free →
The global demand for
food
Use synonyms
 has risen steadily in recent decades, placing increasing pressure on agricultural systems and natural resources.
This
Linking Words
 trend is primarily driven by population growth and changing dietary patterns, both of which require coordinated international action to ensure long-term
food
Use synonyms
 security. One major factor behind the growing demand for
food
Use synonyms
 is the rapid expansion of the world's population. As the number of people continues to increase, greater quantities of staple foods
such
Linking Words
 as rice, wheat, and vegetables are required simply to meet basic nutritional needs. **Beyond
this
Linking Words
**, rising incomes in many developing countries have significantly altered consumer preferences. As living standards improve, people tend to consume more meat and dairy products, the production of which requires far greater quantities of grain, water, and land than plant-based foods. **
For instance
Linking Words
**, producing one kilogram of beef requires substantially more resources than growing the same amount of cereals, thereby placing additional strain on global
food
Use synonyms
 supplies. **To address these challenges**, governments and international organisations should invest more heavily in agricultural innovation. Developing drought-resistant crops, adopting precision farming techniques, and improving irrigation systems can significantly increase productivity
while
Linking Words
 using fewer natural resources. **Equally important**, wealthier nations should strengthen cooperation with developing countries by providing financial assistance, agricultural technology, and technical training.
Such
Linking Words
 support would enable farmers to produce higher yields despite increasingly unpredictable weather conditions caused by climate change. **
In addition
Linking Words
**, reducing
food
Use synonyms
 waste through better storage facilities, transportation networks, and public awareness campaigns would help ensure that a larger proportion of
food
Use synonyms
 reaches consumers
instead
Linking Words
 of being discarded. **
Overall
Linking Words
**, the rising demand for
food
Use synonyms
 stems largely from population growth and increasingly resource-intensive diets. By promoting sustainable farming, encouraging international cooperation, and minimising
food
Use synonyms
 waste, the global community can safeguard
food
Use synonyms
 supplies for future generations.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
For task response, add one more clear idea about why food demand goes up, so your answer feels more full.
task response
For task response, your example about beef is good, but you can make it more exact with one short fact or result.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay is easy to follow, but some linking words are a bit formal and many are used in the same way. Try to vary them in a natural way.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, you can make one sentence link back more clearly to the question about the international community.
task response
For task response, you answer both parts of the question clearly.
task response
For task response, your ideas are relevant and well explained.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, the essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, each paragraph has one main focus, so the message is clear.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: