IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Many people try to balance work and other parts of their life. However, this is very difficult to do. What are the problems associated with this? What is the best way to achieve a better balance?

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Achieving a healthy
balance
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 between
work
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 and personal life has become increasingly challenging in today's fast-paced society.
As a result
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, many people experience negative consequences in
both
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 their physical and emotional well-being.
This
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 essay will discuss the main problems caused by poor
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work-life
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balance
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 and argue that greater workplace flexibility is the most effective solution. A poor
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work-life
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balance
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 can have serious consequences for
both
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 individuals and their families. One major problem is chronic stress and declining physical
health
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. Employees who regularly
work
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 long hours often have insufficient
time
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 to exercise, prepare nutritious meals, or get adequate sleep, increasing their risk of burnout and other
health
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 problems.
For example
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, office workers who routinely stay late may rely on fast food and sacrifice sleep to meet deadlines, gradually damaging
both
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 their physical and mental
health
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. Equally concerning, excessive workloads can strain family relationships. Parents who spend most of their
time
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 at
work
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 may miss important family occasions or have little opportunity to communicate with their children, which can weaken emotional bonds over
time
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. Addressing
this
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 issue requires employers to play a more active role in supporting
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work-life
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balance
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. One of the most effective measures is to introduce flexible working arrangements,
such
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 as remote working or flexible hours. These policies allow employees to organise their schedules more efficiently, making it easier to fulfil
both
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 professional and personal responsibilities.
For instance
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, parents who are permitted to
work
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 from home several days a week can spend more
time
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 with their children
while
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 maintaining their productivity.
Moreover
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, organisations should encourage employees to take regular breaks and avoid excessive overtime, fostering a healthier and more sustainable working culture. In conclusion, poor
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work-life
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balance
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 often leads to
health
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 problems and weaker family relationships. By adopting flexible working policies and promoting healthier workplace practices, employers can help people achieve a more balanced and fulfilling lifestyle.

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task response
For task response, you answer both questions clearly. To get a higher score, add one more direct idea about why balance is hard, such as money pressure or phone use after work.
task response
For task response, your ideas are clear and strong. To improve, make one point a little more deep, for example explain more how stress grows over time.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay is easy to follow and each paragraph has a clear job. To get higher, you can use a wider range of linking words, not only simple ones like 'for example' and 'moreover'.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your examples support your main points well. To improve, you can make one sentence link back more clearly to the main question about balance.
task response
For task response, you fully answer the two parts of the question: the problems and the best way to solve them.
task response
For task response, your examples are relevant and easy to understand, especially the points about sleep, food, and family time.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay has a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a strong conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your ideas move in a logical order, so the reader can follow your thinking easily.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-life balance
  • burnout
  • stress management
  • personal fulfillment
  • workplace demands
  • tech-savvy
  • disconnect
  • boundaries
  • prioritization
  • time management
  • mental well-being
  • societal pressures
  • flexible working hours
  • job satisfaction
  • self-care
What to do next:
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