Some people believe that modern designs for schools and offices with more open spaces are necessary. What are the advantages and disadvantages of such spaces? Give your opinion.

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One of the most controversial issues related to schools and offices is that having more free space is necessary for
those
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these
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constructions.
This
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essay will examine the benefits and disadvantages of
this
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statement and explain the reasons behind my belief that
this
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is vital. On the one side of the argument, there are individuals who believe that studying or working in a wider room helps pupils or
workers
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feel more comfortable.
For example
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, scholars have more space to rest and meet with other scholars in the school. It creates a friendly atmosphere inside the students' community.
Besides
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, office
workers
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have a capacity for different activities between work sessions.
As a result
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, the stress level among staff decreases , which leads to an increase in efficiency and quality of work.
On the other hand
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, the number of workstations for some workplaces is essential, and some companies can not afford to have
such
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a spare area.
For instance
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, start-ups and small businesses which rent a building for their employees
,
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apply
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have to use the given room properly, filling the room with only the necessary items to run the business. Another huge problem is the high maintenance cost of the building.
In other words
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, more
workers
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should be hired in order to keep hygienic conditions.
Therefore
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, they need to spend more money on
workers
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' salaries.
For instance
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, schools and offices provide salaries to the labourers who work and maintain them.
To sum up
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, even though there are some negative aspects, those can be deterred by small investments spent on the cleanliness of the area, open space should be constructed to have a good and friendly environment within the community. In my opinion, it is more beneficial for scholars and employees to be in a larger place as it impacts positively on their mood and productivity.

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task response
Answer both sides in a more full way. The good side is clear, but the bad side needs a bit more detail.
task response
Give one clear opinion from the start and keep it strong in all parts.
task response
Some examples are a bit general. Add one more real and clear example to support your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, middle, and end, which is good.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with care. Some parts can connect more smoothly.
coherence and cohesion
A few ideas are not fully explained before you move to the next point. Add one more sentence to develop each main point.
task response
You answer the question and give your opinion clearly in the end.
task response
You discuss both advantages and disadvantages, so the response is complete.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has clear paragraphs for each main side of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both present and easy to follow.
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