Children who are brought up in families that do not have large amount of money are better prepared to deal with the problems of adult life than children brough up by wealthy parents. to what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

It goes without saying that notwithstanding living in a contemporary world in the 21st century there is still a huge difference among individuals when it comes to the income rates of
families
.
As a result
of
this
, society is divided into layers, like wealthy, mediocre and poor. Many people argue that children who are brought up in poor and not well-equipped environments with a lack of all facilities tend to have reinforced problem-solving skills, rather than those individuals who were born with a silver spoon in their mouth. I oppose
this
view and my reasons will be explained in the following paragraphs. First and foremost, it is worth noticing that individuals who were born into financially secure
families
, were raised as confident personalities, and did not face detrimental circumstances in their juvenile years.
Additionally
, they would not suffer from psychological life-threatening issues,like depression and anxiety. To cite an example, as a person who was raised in a well-off family , I can undoubtedly notice that my parents since my early years taught me a multitude of valuable knowledge and information which helped me a lot in my daily problematic circumstances.
On the other hand
, low-income
families
children face different problems on a daily basis starting with finding something to feed, what exactly to wear and funding which is the first necessity in life in society.
Moreover
, when they get older from their childish years they come across violence at school from their schoolmates.
As a consequence
of things that they experienced they struggle with mental and physical problems and it sometimes leads to detrimental ramifications like committing self-murder. As I mentioned before all of these conditions cannot be the starting point for a great future and solving even straightforward issues will be sophisticated for them.
To sum up
, being a child of impoverished and penniless
families
does not lead to advanced problem-solving skills.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your essay presents a clear position on the topic, which is essential. However, ensure that each argument is adequately supported with more relevant and specific examples. This will help strengthen your essay's credibility and persuasiveness.
coherence cohesion
While your essay is generally logical, some transitions between ideas could be smoother. For instance, connecting your example more effectively to the argument would enhance coherence. Be mindful of minor grammatical errors, as they can hamper the flow of reading.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a solid introduction and a clear conclusion, which provide a good frame for your argument.
task achievement
Your positions are clearly stated, and you make an effort to provide reasoning for your stance. This clarity is crucial for task achievement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: