IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show household spending patterns in two countries between 1980 and 2008

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Try for free →
The four pie charts present the proportion of family needs, involving
food
Use synonyms
 &
drink
Use synonyms
,
utility
Use synonyms
bills
Use synonyms
, transport,
leisure
Use synonyms
, and other, in 1980 and 2008.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
leisure
Use synonyms
activitiy
Correct your spelling
activity
, especially in the British records as the most
expenditure
Replace the word
expensive
 for both years, 1980 and 2008,
whereas
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
New Zealand, the pattern is different, with
food
Use synonyms
 &
drink
Use synonyms
 stands in the top priority in 1980,
while
Linking Words
unfortunately
Add a comma
unfortunately,
show examples
utility
Use synonyms
bills
Use synonyms
 become
top
Correct article usage
the top
show examples
 spending in 2008. In the United Kingdom, especially in 1980, the
leisure
Use synonyms
 has a highest proportion value of 27% with 1% distance to
utility
Use synonyms
bills
Use synonyms
. Interestingly, the
leisure
Use synonyms
 remains highly growing in 2008 with 34% household expenditure, followed by
utility
Use synonyms
bills
Use synonyms
, transport,
food
Use synonyms
 &
drink
Use synonyms
, and other
behind
Check wording
expenses
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
New Zealand, the pattern
is
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
 changed after 28 years.
Specific
Replace the word
Specifically
 in 1980,
food
Use synonyms
 &
drink
Use synonyms
become
Wrong verb form
became
show examples
 the top priority of family needs with 29%. Unfortunately,
this
Linking Words
 value does not stand longer, because the
utility
Use synonyms
bills
Use synonyms
grabs
Correct subject-verb agreement
grab
show examples
 the first position with 31%, leaving 6% distance to
food
Use synonyms
 &
drink
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words food, drink, utility, bills, leisure with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "stands" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • spend
  • spending
  • share
  • rise
  • fall
  • increase
  • decrease
  • grow
  • drop
  • change
  • pattern
  • trend
  • year
  • country
  • food
  • housing
  • rent
  • health
  • education
  • leisure
  • money
  • income
  • budget
  • more
  • less
  • than
  • across
  • between
  • overall
What to do next:
Look at other essays: