IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

Some people think that exercise is the key to health, while others feel that having a balanced diet is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Công Thành

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Some people believe that doing
exercises
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 is the key to
health
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 others argue that
balanced
Correct article usage
a balanced
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 diet is even more crucial in terms of preventing
from
Change preposition
apply
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many diseases caused by malnutrition or consuming
extra
Correct word choice
too much
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 food .In my opinion, the combination of both of them is enhancing the well-being. On the one hand, Physical
exercises
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 have a positive impact on
human's
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human
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health
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,
Punctuation problem
;
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 the immediate results can be seen just after
few
Correct article usage
a few
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 sessions of workout. Individuals can feel the improvement
on
Change preposition
in
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 their fitness
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such
Punctuation problem
, such
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 as enhancing mobility and
flexiblity
Correct your spelling
flexibility
.
In addition
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, regular workouts work on
shapping
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shaping
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 the body, increasing
bones
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bone
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 density and building muscles.
Exercises
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generally
Verb problem
have generally
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 proven their effectiveness on
human's
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human
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health
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.
However
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, it doesn't give the expected results solely.
On the other hand
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, balanced diets, which focus on consume a perfect proportions of
crabs
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carbs
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, protins and
fybers
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fibres
, give human bodies the exact
nutritions
Correct your spelling
nutrients
 they need for daily activities .
Therefore
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, they not only preventing from malnutritions diseases but
also
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 reduce the process of fats restortion. These diets combine with the workouts In conclusion,
exercises
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 and balanced diets in
seperate
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separate
 are undoubtedly enhancing
overall
Linking Words
health
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but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 the mix between them can give even better results.

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task response
Answer both sides more fully, then give your own view clearly.
task response
Add one clear example for exercise and one for diet.
task response
Explain why each point matters, not only list ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear topic sentences at the start of each body paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like first, also, however, because, so.
coherence and cohesion
Finish the second body paragraph fully. One idea looks cut off.
task response
You discuss both exercise and diet, so you address the topic.
task response
Your opinion is clear: both are important together.
coherence and cohesion
There is an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a basic order that is easy to follow.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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