IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

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Certainly, it is absolutely true that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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language
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 is humans` most advanced and important factor
aiming
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apply
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for communicating with each other and
also
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 a
tongue
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powerful
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 weapon at the same time. We all know that
language
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 is our appropriate
way
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 of showing our emotions
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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Linking Words
also it
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it also
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 plays a huge role
on
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in
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 the
way
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 we understand each other precisely.
However
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, it is
also
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 something that whenever it is misused, it can cause any kind of problems
especially
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, especially
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 the social problems that we can face
within a
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with
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 harsh emotions. I completely agree that there are several considerable advantages of learning a foreign
language
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 in
different
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a different
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 country; and these advantages have a huge impact on both our outlook and
linguistic
Replace the word
language
. I think
first
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the first
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 main popular belief is
learning
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that learning
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 a new
language
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with
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under
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 high pressure can
fasten
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speed up
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 the process. Psychologically, if a person wants to learn something faster, adding pressure can sometimes helps on a right
way
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with
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by
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 boosting
person`s
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a person`s
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 effort and productivity.
As a result
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, even simple pressure forms
such
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 as asking the direction of a route from a stranger, buying something from the bazaar and markets, small
every-day
Correct your spelling
everyday
 conversations with neighbours in an
absolute another
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absolutely unknown
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language
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that is
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 unknown can force the mind to
memorize
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memorise
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 and practice everything in an intense and practical
way
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. Unfortunately, the main point is trying to communicate in
non-native
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a non-native
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language
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 in a public or formal
places
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place
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 may
leads
Wrong verb form
lead
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 to strange social issues
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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 sometimes even practical ones in the wrong
way
Use synonyms
.
For example
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, if someone who is new in one country and does not know
this
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 country`s
language
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 properly wants to speak with neighbours
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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 sometimes the nature of
this
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preson`s
Correct your spelling
person`s
 dirty or misunderstood
word
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words
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 can be fatal and cause the neighbours
never
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to never
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 talk with
again
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them again
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or
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, or
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 they even call the police and explain it as a crime.
Nevertheless
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, it
also
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 has a considerable influence on the CV
while
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 applying for
job
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a job
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; and whenever the
language
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 proficiency is lower than the requirements,
then
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this
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 would be the smell of rejection. In conclusion, from my
perspective
Add a comma
perspective,
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 I completely agree that learning a new foreign
language
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forcibly
Rephrase
apply
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has
an
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apply
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enough
big
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apply
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advantages, but it
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also can
Correct word order
can also
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 cause some serious problems, unfortunately, that even
leads
Wrong verb form
lead
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 to crime.

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task response
Answer the question more directly. The task asks about social and practical problems, but you spend much time on the good side of learning a language.
task response
Keep one clear position from start to end. You say you completely agree, but many ideas talk about benefits, so your view is not fully clear.
task response
Give more clear examples of social problems and practical problems. For example, problems with work, study, rent, doctor visits, or making friends.
coherence and cohesion
Make each body paragraph have one main idea only. This will help the reader follow your points more easily.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a simpler and more correct way. Some links now feel long or not natural.
coherence and cohesion
Support each main point with a short, clear explanation and one direct example.
coherence and cohesion
You wrote an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, so the essay has a full shape.
task response
You tried to explain your ideas and you included examples from daily life.
task response
Your opinion is given, and the reader can see that you mostly agree with the statement.
Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • linguistic proficiency
  • cross-cultural communication
  • miscommunication
  • social integration
  • linguistic alienation
  • cultural dissonance
  • language acquisition
  • communication breakdown
  • interpreter services
  • language courses
  • bilingualism
  • multilingualism
  • language barrier
  • effective communication
  • cultural assimilation
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