Big salaries are much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree

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For
job
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satisfaction
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, few things are more crucial than big
salaries
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. It is often argued that lucrative
salaries
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are essential,
while
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others believe that
satisfaction
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in a
job
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is more crucial than big
salaries
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.
Nevetheless
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Nonetheless
, I firmly believe that
career
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fulfillment
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fulfilment
show examples
plays an important role rather than financial rewards. First of all, people can be seen as more satisfied with their
job
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when they have mental peace in their workplace. They will be able to complete their work-related tasks without any obstacles.
Furthermore
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, they can maintain a good relationship with their colleagues.
For example
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, introducing 15 minutes break every two hours can lead to the best outcome for the
employees
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. Most of the offices are now
following
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this
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trend, and they are getting positive outcomes from the
employees
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.
In addition
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, the work culture in the office is another vital element for keeping
employees
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satisfied in their jobs.
Therefore
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, it can be identified that mental
satisfaction
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and work culture in the workplace are more crucial than lucrative
salaries
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.
On the other hand
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, sometimes lucrative
salaries
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do not always provide
career
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fulfillment
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fulfilment
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. If there is no
career
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gratification, people will lose interest in working.
Moreover
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,
career
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satisfaction
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improves
career
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growth as well.
Employees
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can focus on their
job
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without any external or internal obstacles.
For instance
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, most of the companies nowadays have an employee assistance program (EAP). It assists workers in identifying work-related issues and provides intensive support.
In addition
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, if
employees
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get the lucrative
salaries
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, but there is no
career
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satisfaction
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, they can easily switch jobs, which will lead to huge operational drawbacks for the company.
Hence
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,
career
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fulfillment
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fulfilment
show examples
is often described as a golden strategy for companies to keep their
employees
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without providing monetary compensation. In conclusion, people often prefer
job
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satisfaction
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rather than huge remuneration, which helps them to develop their
career
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without any internal issues, as it is often believed that great work experience will increase their
salaries
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eventually.

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task response
Make your main idea more direct in the first paragraph. Say clearly that you disagree with big salary being more important.
task response
Explain your examples more. Some examples are general, so add one clear result to show why job satisfaction matters more.
task response
Stay close to the question all the time. A few parts talk about company policy, but the essay should focus more on why one is more important for workers.
coherence cohesion
Use simpler linking between ideas. Some lines repeat the same point with different words.
coherence cohesion
Build each body paragraph around one clear main point. This will make the essay easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
Check word choice and spelling because small mistakes can make the flow weaker.
task response
You give a clear opinion and keep it through the essay.
task response
The essay answers the question and has two body paragraphs with related ideas.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear introduction and a clear conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Most ideas are grouped in a logical order.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
What to do next:
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