IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that studying at university orcollege is the best route to a successful career, whileothers believe that it is better to get a job straightafter school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #university #orcollege #route #career #whileothers #job #straightafter #school
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The debate over the optimal path to a successful
career
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 revolves around two contrasting views. Some argue that pursuing higher
education
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 at a
university
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 or college is the best route,
while
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 others contend that entering the workforce immediately after school is a preferable choice. Both perspectives have valid points, and the choice depends on individual circumstances and
career
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 goals. Supporters of the
university
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 or college route emphasize the long-term benefits of higher
education
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. They argue that obtaining a degree equips individuals with specialized knowledge, critical thinking
skills
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, and a broader understanding of their chosen field. A degree is often seen as a prerequisite for certain professions, providing a competitive edge in the job market.
Additionally
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, the
university
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experience
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 fosters personal growth, independence, and networking opportunities that contribute to a well-rounded individual.
On the other hand
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, proponents of entering the workforce directly after school highlight the advantages of gaining practical
experience
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 early. They argue that hands-on
experience
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 provides a valuable
education
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 in itself, helping individuals develop practical
skills
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, industry knowledge, and a strong work ethic. Early entrants to the job market may
also
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 start earning income sooner, avoiding the financial burdens associated with
university
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 tuition. For some careers, especially in sectors that prioritize
skills
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 over degrees, immediate entry into the workforce can lead to rapid
career
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 progression. In my opinion, the choice between
university
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 and immediate employment depends on various factors, including
career
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 aspirations, financial considerations, and personal preferences. Some professions may require academic credentials, making higher
education
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 essential,
while
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 others value hands-on
experience
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 and
skills
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 acquired on the job. A hybrid approach,
such
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 as combining work and part-time studies, may offer a balanced solution. In conclusion, the debate over the best route to a successful
career
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 involves weighing the benefits of higher
education
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 against the practical advantages of immediate employment. Both paths have their merits, and individuals should carefully consider their goals and circumstances when making
this
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 crucial decision. Ultimately, success in a
career
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 is influenced by a combination of
education
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,
experience
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, and individual initiative.
Submitted by revicesong.jn on

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Introduction
Ensure your introduction directly addresses the topic and clearly presents a thesis statement outlining your opinion or approach to the discussion.
Logical Structure
For higher scores, work on developing a clear, logical structure with well-defined paragraphs. Each paragraph should have a clear central idea supported by relevant examples or explanations.
Cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices and transition phrases to seamlessly connect ideas and paragraphs, improving the overall flow of your essay.
Discussion of Views
To fully meet the task requirements, make sure to discuss both views thoroughly and provide a well-rounded opinion that includes personal reasoning and specific examples.
Conclusion
In your conclusion, aim to succinctly restate your thesis and summarize the main points of your argument without introducing new ideas.
Supporting Examples
Incorporate specific examples where appropriate to support your main points and demonstrate understanding of the topic. This can include statistics, real-world examples, or hypothetical scenarios.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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