IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe that they should be free to work in another country if they wish.

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Some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that specialists,
such
Linking Words
 as
doctors
Use synonyms
 and
engineers
Use synonyms
, must try to serve their
country
Use synonyms
 where they gain
hand on
Correct your spelling
hands-on
 experience of things and complete their training. Others think that they should not be restricted in the case of moving abroad to study more for their career growth. I believe that they
needs
Correct subject-verb agreement
need
show examples
 to move abroad for their advanced programmes. On one side of the argument,
people
Use synonyms
 think that
doctors
Use synonyms
 and
engineers
Use synonyms
 should spend their time in their native
country
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.
This
Linking Words
 is because
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 they
studies
Wrong verb form
studied
show examples
 their
relevent
Correct your spelling
relevant
 degree in government
institues
Correct your spelling
institutions
. Government subsidies their education with tax of local
people
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 .
Howevere
Correct your spelling
However
,
doctors
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 and
engineers
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 may need to contribute
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the welfare of the
country
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.
This
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also
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 helps to reduce burdens on
relevent
Correct your spelling
relevant
 departments in case of
work load
Correct your spelling
workload
.
For example
Linking Words
, professionals can train their junior colleagues with their valuable experience. On the other side of
above
Correct article usage
the above
show examples
 argument,
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 believe that
doctors
Use synonyms
 and
engineers
Use synonyms
 should not be forced to stay in the
country
Use synonyms
. They need to look for
carrer opportunites
Correct your spelling
career opportunities
 in different countries.
Furthermore
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, working in another
country
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
enhance
Correct subject-verb agreement
enhances
show examples
 their skills and knowledge.
In addition
Linking Words
, they become more trained in their fields. After working with different
people
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, professionals can improve their working methods and
technique
Check wording
techniques
show examples
. They can innovate new things.
For example
Linking Words
,
doctors
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 and
engineers
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 can improve their
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
 with
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
 salary and
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
better facilities. They
do
Verb problem
apply
show examples
can do
researches
Replace the word
research
 with
like minded
Correct your spelling
like-minded
people
Use synonyms
.
To sum up
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, some believe that professionals
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
 their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 in their own
country
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. I believe that they
they
Verb problem
should
show examples
 once in
life
Correct determiner usage
their life
show examples
to
Wrong verb form
apply
show examples
go
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 another
country
Use synonyms
 for quality education.

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task response
Answer both sides more fully, then explain your view in a more clear way.
task response
Use main ideas with better support. Some points are good, but they need more detail.
task response
Give examples that are more clear and more direct for the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Put ideas in a more smooth order. Some sentences do not link well.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple link words well, like first, also, however, and in the end.
coherence and cohesion
Make each paragraph stay on one main idea and develop it step by step.
task response
You answer both views and give your own opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task response
Some ideas are relevant to the topic, such as public support for study and better work chances abroad.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • professionals
  • doctors
  • engineers
  • required
  • training
  • home country
  • cultural
  • linguistic
  • advantages
  • economic impact
  • free
  • another country
  • globalization
  • international collaboration
  • improving
  • skills
  • knowledge
  • experience
  • opinion
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