IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

SOME PEOPLE THINK IT IS MORE IMPORTANT TO SPEND MONEY ON ROADS AND MORTOWAYS THAN ON PUBLIC TRANSPORT SYSTEMS SUCH AS RAILWAYS AND TRAMS. TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE?

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A segment of the population posits that spending money on roads and mortoways than on public transport is crucial.I fundamentally disagree with
this
Linking Words
 assertion. The
rational
Replace the word
rationale
 behind my stance is
centered
Change the spelling
centred
show examples
 on the air pollution,
as well as
Linking Words
 the traffic congestion it creates. First and foremost, public transport would have reduced
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
air pollution. Transports
such
Linking Words
 as
tram
Check wording
trams
show examples
 and railways can carry more people at the same time
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 would enormously lower air pollution and reduce the number of private cars on the road.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it provides cheaper cost foir the road who
don'
Correct your spelling
don't
 own a car.

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task response
Answer all parts of the question. Say more clearly why you disagree.
task response
Add one more body part and a short end part.
task response
Give one clear example for each main idea.
coherence and cohesion
Make each paragraph have one main idea only.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words like first, also, for example, and in the end.
coherence and cohesion
Explain your ideas more so the reader can follow your points.
task response
Your position is clear: you disagree.
task response
You give two main ideas: air pollution and traffic jams.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a short opening and one body part.
coherence and cohesion
Words like first and moreover help connect ideas.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • traffic jam
  • public transport
  • railway system
  • tram line
  • road network
  • long-term plan
  • air pollution
  • private car
  • travel time
  • move goods
  • low-income people
  • equal access
  • growing city
  • reduce congestion
  • safe and cheap travel
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