IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include andy relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Try for free →
Some
people
Use synonyms
 say that learning a foreign
language
Use synonyms
 is
only
Correct article usage
the only
show examples
 reason
when
Change preposition
to
show examples
 travel or
work
Use synonyms
 in
foreign
Correct article usage
a foreign
show examples
country
Use synonyms
. Others say that these are not the only reasons why
some one
Correct your spelling
someone
 should learn a foreign
language
Use synonyms
. In my
opion
Correct your spelling
opinion
, I agree with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
session 2.
People
Use synonyms
 can learn many foreign
Use synonyms
language
Fix the agreement mistake
languages
show examples
. There are some
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
 why someone should learn a foreign
language
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, foreign
language
Use synonyms
 is popular
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
all
the
Change preposition
over the
show examples
 world
especially
Punctuation problem
, especially
show examples
Use synonyms
people
Correct word choice
since people
show examples
 usually use English
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 and British
to
Check wording
English to
show examples
 talk
seconly
Correct your spelling
secondly
. Learn foreign
language
Use synonyms
 can help you communicate with other
peoples
Check wording
people
show examples
 in other
Use synonyms
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
, to talk more easily.
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
 my father
want
Correct subject-verb agreement
wants
show examples
 to go to Korea to find
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
work
Use synonyms
. So he had to learn, try hard to talk Korean fluently by reading
Korean
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
, writing and speaking. And that he talked fluently.
Next
Punctuation problem
Next,
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 can learn
foreign
Correct article usage
a foreign
show examples
languge
Correct your spelling
language
 when
travel
Wrong verb form
travelling
show examples
 or
Use synonyms
work
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
 in
foreign
Correct article usage
a foreign
show examples
country
Use synonyms
. If we travel or
work
Use synonyms
 in
the other
Correct determiner usage
another
show examples
country
Use synonyms
. We should learn to talk the foreign
country
Use synonyms
 so that we can talk with
othe
Correct your spelling
other
people
Use synonyms
 in that
country
Use synonyms
. If I want to
work
Use synonyms
 in England, I practise English hard
everyday
Rephrase
every day
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, learn foreign
language
Use synonyms
 help your make your career
covenient
Correct your spelling
convenient
, earn more money by finding a job
such
Linking Words
 as translating Vietnamese
to the other
Change preposition
into another
show examples
language
Use synonyms
. You can become a teacher to teach the students when we learn well that foreign
country
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
Finally
Add a comma
Finally,
show examples
 it can help you raise knowledge
visionly
Correct your spelling
visually
, have many skills when
communicate
Wrong verb form
communicating
show examples
 with
other
Replace the word
others
. So there are many reasons
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
why each
Use synonyms
people
Fix the agreement mistake
person
show examples
 should learn
foreign
Correct article usage
a foreign
show examples
language
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Answer both sides more fully. You talk more about one side, but the other side is short.
task response
State your opinion in a clear way and keep it the same through the essay.
task response
Explain your main ideas more. Some points are good, but they need more detail.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer topic sentences at the start of each part.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like first, also, for example, and finally.
coherence and cohesion
Make each paragraph stay on one main idea.
task response
You answer the topic and give your opinion.
task response
You use examples about work, travel, and your father.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start and end.
coherence and cohesion
The order of ideas is mostly easy to follow.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: