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Writing Samples
Band 5

Cycling is a healthier and more environmentally friendly form of transport. Nevertheless, cycling is getting less popular. What are the reasons of this trend? What can be done to make cycling more popular?

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As many
people
Use synonyms
 believe, cycling is one of the best types of transport in terms of protecting the environment.
However
Linking Words
, cycling is getting less popular than in the past. In my opinion, the high
standart
Correct your spelling
standard
 of living in society
play
Correct subject-verb agreement
plays
show examples
 a crucial role in reducing the
cycling
Correct word order
popularity of cycling
show examples
popularity
Use synonyms
. Despite
this
Linking Words
 fact,
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 still has to ensure
sustainable
Correct article usage
the sustainable
show examples
 development of cycling in different ways
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as creating
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
special zones for cycling or promoting it through
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
TV or the internet.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the major reason for
decreasing
Correct article usage
the decreasing
show examples
popularity
Use synonyms
 of cycling is that
people
Use synonyms
 have
became
Wrong verb form
become
show examples
 extremely lazy because of the high
standart
Correct your spelling
standard
 of living. As modern technologies develop rapidly, many things
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as transportation or internet
connection
Punctuation problem
connection,
show examples
 are extremely common now.
People
Use synonyms
 are able to
order
Use synonyms
taxi
Correct article usage
a taxi
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 any point
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
town
Use synonyms
 or find
answer
Correct article usage
an answer
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 any question on the internet. These changes lead to
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
of lazyness
Change preposition
in laziness
show examples
 because
people
Use synonyms
 can
do easily
Correct word order
easily do
show examples
 various things
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 which needed physical effort before.
For example
Linking Words
, citizens do not need to
use
Use synonyms
bicycles
Use synonyms
 as they can travel by the public electric scooters in
town
Use synonyms
, which
needs
Verb problem
requires
show examples
 less physical effort. Since the main problem is
lazyness
Replace the word
laziness
, the
government
Use synonyms
 have to encourage
people
Use synonyms
 to
use
Use synonyms
bicycles
Use synonyms
 in
order
Use synonyms
 to acquire
more healthy and
Correct word order
a healthier and more
show examples
 environmentally friendly lifestyle. As
bicycles
Use synonyms
 play a vital role in saving the environment because they do not produce any
fuels
Check wording
fuel
show examples
, authorities need to promote cycling in different
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
show examples
 as a cheap and eco-friendly transport. It will be
usefull
Correct your spelling
useful
 for both
people
Use synonyms
's health and the environment.
For instance
Linking Words
, schools can hold a cycling competition with money prizes in
order
Use synonyms
 to encourage
student
Check wording
students
show examples
 to
use
Use synonyms
bisycles
Correct your spelling
bicycles
, or the
government
Use synonyms
 can create
bilboards
Correct your spelling
billboards
 with
adverticements
Correct your spelling
advertisements
 of cycling.
Thus
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 will become more aware of
importance
Correct article usage
the importance
show examples
 of cycling in their lives and will
use
Use synonyms
them
Fix the agreement mistake
it
show examples
 frequently.
In addition
Linking Words
, authorities can construct the cycling
roots
Check wording
routes
show examples
 in
town
Use synonyms
. These roots will go through the most crowded places of
town
Use synonyms
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as schools or
shoping
Correct your spelling
shopping
 malls. As these areas are often crowded, traffic jams are common there. In
this
Linking Words
 case, comfortable and fast cycling
roots
Use the right word
routes
show examples
 will be
usefull
Correct your spelling
useful
 for
people
Use synonyms
 in these areas, which will increase the
popularity
Use synonyms
 of
bicycles
Use synonyms
.
To sum up
Linking Words
, through the increasing level of
lazyness
Replace the word
laziness
, cycling loses
popularity
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 should pay attention to
this
Linking Words
 problem and create special conditions in
order
Use synonyms
 to increase the
popularity
Use synonyms
 of cycling.

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task response
Answer both parts more fully. You give reasons and fixes, but some ideas are short.
task response
Make your main reason more exact. 'People are lazy' is too wide. Add more direct causes like safety, time, and cost.
task response
Use examples that feel more real and clear. Some examples are good, but they need more detail.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, body, and end. Keep this plan.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas more smoothly. Some sentences are hard to follow because the logic jumps.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear topic sentences at the start of each body paragraph, then explain one idea at a time.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid repeating the same idea, like 'lazy' and 'healthy and green', too many times.
task response
You answer both questions in the task.
task response
You give more than one way to make cycling more popular.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Most paragraphs stay on the main topic.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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