Nowadays many young people leave home at an early age and live in a city. Why do you think they move to cities? Do you think this has more advantages or disadvantages for young people?

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Nowadays, an increasing number of young
people
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leave their family homes and move to
cities
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at an early age.
This
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trend is mainly driven by better educational and career
opportunities
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. In my opinion,
although
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living independently in a city can present some difficulties, the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. The primary reason why young
people
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move to urban areas is that
cities
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offer a wider range of
opportunities
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. Many of the best universities, colleges, and training centres are located in large
cities
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, allowing students to receive a higher-quality education.
Furthermore
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,
cities
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provide a greater variety of jobs with better salaries and career prospects.
As a result
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, young adults often relocate to improve their future and become financially independent. There are
also
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several benefits of moving away from home.
First,
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living independently helps young
people
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develop essential life skills,
such
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as managing money, cooking, and making responsible decisions. These experiences encourage personal growth and increase self-confidence.
In addition
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, city life enables young
people
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to meet individuals from different cultural and professional backgrounds, which broadens their perspectives and improves their communication skills.
However
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,
this
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lifestyle is not without its drawbacks. Living in a city can be expensive, especially because of high accommodation and transportation costs. Some young
people
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may
also
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experience loneliness and homesickness after leaving their families.
Moreover
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, the fast pace of urban life can be stressful and may negatively affect their mental well-being. In conclusion, young
people
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usually move to
cities
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in search of better education and employment
opportunities
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.
Although
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they may face financial and emotional challenges, I believe that the
opportunities
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for personal development, independence, and career advancement make
this
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decision more beneficial than harmful.

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task response
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task response
For task response: Your ideas are clear and easy to follow. You can make them stronger by giving a bit more detail about one disadvantage.
coherence and cohesion
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coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: The links between ideas are good. To improve more, use a few more varied linking words, but keep them natural.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: Each paragraph has one main idea, which helps the reader. You can make support even better by adding one short example in the body.
task response
You clearly explain why young people move to cities.
task response
You give a clear opinion and keep it through the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is well organized with clear paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are both clear and complete.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
Topic Vocabulary:
  • move to the city
  • leave home early
  • look for work
  • better job chances
  • higher pay
  • good education
  • study at college
  • learn new skills
  • live on their own
  • become independent
  • make their own choices
  • build a future
  • high cost of living
  • pay rent
  • daily travel
  • feel lonely
  • miss their family
  • fast-paced life
  • mental health
  • face pressure
  • work-life balance
  • personal growth
  • more opportunities
  • a better standard of life
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