IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people think that increasing the price of fuel is the best way to solve growing environmental problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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There is no denying the fact that gas is dangerous to the
environment
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, some believe that the most effective
way
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 to decrease
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
pollution
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 is by raising the cost of
fuel
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. And
olso
Correct your spelling
also
 there is an argument that
oppose
Correct subject-verb agreement
opposes
show examples
 that.
This
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 essay will showcase both views and express my own opinion. On
one
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 hand,
fuel
Use synonyms
 is
one
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 of the main causes of
pollutions
Check wording
pollution
show examples
. It is
also
Linking Words
one
Use synonyms
 of the problems in terms of global warming. If the prices rise, that would
defently
Correct your spelling
definitely
 decrease
envirnomental
Correct your spelling
environmental
 problems. The
amount
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number
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 of
cars
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, motorbikes, and trucks is
showing
Verb problem
posing
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 a serious danger towards the
environment
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.
raising
Capitalize the word
Raising
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fuel
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price
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prices
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 would lead to society using other transportation
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
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 as
,
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apply
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 trains
,
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apply
show examples
 and buses. For
instants
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instance
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, if a bus could take 30 persons, that means
one
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 bus equals 30
cars
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,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 alone is insane to think about.
On the other hand
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,
altho
Correct your spelling
although
 it is
one
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 of the main reasons
in
Change preposition
for
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 hurting the
environment
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, increasing
fuel
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price
Check wording
prices
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 might not be "the best"
way
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,
Punctuation problem
;
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 we could work on some alternitive
way
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,
such
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 as
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 electric
cars
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,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 would help people in
transporting
Replace the word
transportation
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and
protecting
Wrong verb form
protect
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 the
environment
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.
For example
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,
tesla
Capitalize the proper name
Tesla
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 is
one
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 of the main companies in electric
cars
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. And it is growing,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 makes you see that people started understanding the dangerous around the
environment
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. In conclusion, raising
fuel
Use synonyms
price
Check wording
prices
show examples
 is a good
way
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 to solve
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environment
Replace the word
environmental
 problems, but
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 see that there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 many better
, and
Check wording
ways, and
show examples
 a lot of other ways.

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task response
Answer the question more clearly. Say if you agree, disagree, or partly agree in the introduction, and keep this view clear to the end.
task response
Develop each main idea more. Explain why higher fuel cost helps, and why other ways may work better.
task response
Use more clear and real examples. The bus example is useful, but the electric car idea needs more detail.
coherence and cohesion
Make topic sentences more direct. Start each body paragraph with one clear main point.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like first, also, because, however, and therefore. This will make the flow smoother.
coherence and cohesion
Check punctuation and sentence joining. Some commas are not needed, and some long sentences should be split.
task response
You answered both sides of the topic and gave your own view at the end.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear basic structure: introduction, two body paragraphs, and conclusion.
task response
The bus example helps support your point about public transport.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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