Some people believe that studying at the university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Nowadays, many people disagree about the best way for school leavers to achieve career success. Some argue that higher

education

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is the most effective option,

whereas

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others think that entering the workforce immediately is a better choice.

This

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essay will discuss both views, and I believe that attending

university

Use synonyms

is generally more beneficial. On the one hand, getting a job straight after school has several advantages. First of all, young people can earn money at an earlier age and become financially independent.

In addition

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, they gain practical experience and develop valuable workplace skills.

As a result

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, they may progress more quickly in careers where experience is more important than academic qualifications.

Moreover

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, they can avoid the costs associated with higher

education

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and start building their professional network earlier.

On the other hand

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university

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education

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provides

students

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with

specialized

Change the spelling

specialised

show examples

knowledge and

recognized

Change the spelling

recognised

show examples

qualifications.

Furthermore

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, many professions,

such

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as medicine, law, and engineering, require a degree.

University

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students

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also

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improve their critical thinking and communication skills, which are highly valued by employers.

Therefore

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, graduates often have access to a wider range of career opportunities and higher salaries.

In addition

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, universities offer networking opportunities that can help

students

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find suitable jobs after graduation. Many employers

also

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prefer graduates because they are seen as more disciplined and better prepared for complex tasks. In conclusion, both starting work immediately and attending

university

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have their own advantages.

However

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, I believe that higher

education

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offers better long-term career prospects, greater stability, and more opportunities for personal development, making it the most suitable path for the majority of

students

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acaitaz

Jul 7, 2026

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task response

Add one real or clear example for each side. This will make your ideas stronger.

task response

Explain a few main ideas more deeply, not only in a general way.

task response

Your opinion is clear, but you can make it stronger in the second body paragraph too.

coherence and cohesion

Use linking words with care. You already use many, but some ideas can flow more smoothly with shorter sentences.

coherence and cohesion

Make sure each paragraph has one main idea and then support it step by step.

coherence and cohesion

Some points are listed one after another. Try to connect them more clearly.

task response

You answer both views and give your opinion clearly.

task response

Your essay stays on the topic from start to end.

coherence and cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

coherence and cohesion

Your paragraphs are easy to follow.

coherence and cohesion

Linking words like 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' help guide the reader.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

261 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Academic qualifications
Specialized skills
In-depth knowledge
Personal growth
Social development
Practical experience
Financial independence
Career progression
Professional networking
Education
Work experience
Successful career
Personal interests
Career goals
Decision-making process

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