Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead

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In the present world, the cost of local
services
is on the rise.
people
believe that investments in artworks
such
as music and theatre are not worthy and
instead
of
this
, the government should spend money on community
services
. It is agreed that higher authorities must support the local community and treat that as a priority. Analysing the current situation of the world,
as well as
rising demands for local
services
will prove
this
.
Firstly
, paying for extraordinary things will not fulfil the requirements of a growing population.
for instance
, it is widely seen, that
due to
the COVID-19 pandemic, many
people
have lost their jobs.
moreover
, day-to-day living became more challenging for an average middle-class person because of the increasing costs of daily necessities. Unfortunately, spending on art will not be helpful to poor communities.
Secondly
, the world's population is increasing rapidly and so do their requirements.
For example
, most civilizations will choose government transportation over private vehicles. Same with the education as
people
can not afford expensive things nowadays.
This
makes it more clear that public
services
are more important in the current environment. To summarise, the artwork investments will not be able to match the local public's current necessities.
Therefore
,
it is clear that
the idea of spending money on music, dance or any other theatre activities cannot be supported. After a thorough analysis of
this
subject, we can say that
people
are bending towards saving money over entertainment. So, the administration should invest more
according to
local needs.
Submitted by parmarshreya897 on

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task achievement
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which are essential components of a well-structured essay. However, try to avoid starting sentences with lowercase letters and ensure that all sentences are grammatically correct and properly punctuated.
coherence cohesion
To improve the coherence and cohesion of your essay, work on creating smoother transitions between paragraphs. Use linking words and phrases to guide the reader through your arguments more seamlessly.
task achievement
Strengthen your main points with more specific and relevant examples. While your examples are valid, expanding on them with additional details or statistics would make your argument more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Clarify and develop your ideas more comprehensively. Some of the arguments are a bit vague and could benefit from further elaboration and specificity.
task achievement
The essay addresses the topic and takes a clear stance, stating that government investment should prioritize public services over arts funding.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear logical structure to the essay, with ideas presented in a coherent manner.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural enrichment
  • expression of creativity
  • promote diversity
  • enhance social cohesion
  • boost tourism
  • job creation
  • stimulate economic growth
  • improve quality of life
  • essential services
  • maintenance and development
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