At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Get started →

Nowadays, in some countries, the number of young adults exceeds that of older people.

This

Linking Words

trend can have both positive and negative effects on society.

However

Linking Words

, I believe that an increase in the young population is more beneficial

overall

Linking Words

. One possible drawback is that

traditions

Use synonyms

and cultural values may gradually be forgotten. Older generations play an important role in passing down customs, celebrations, and historical knowledge. If they do not encourage younger people to maintain these

traditions

Use synonyms

, cultural heritage may disappear over time.

For example

Linking Words

, in my school, many students show little interest in activities related to national

traditions

Use synonyms

, which suggests that these customs are becoming less important to the younger generation.

As a result

Linking Words

, countries may lose their unique identity.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, a younger population contributes significantly to technological development. Young people tend to adapt to new technologies more quickly than older generations. From an early age, they are exposed to devices

such

Linking Words

as smartphones and tablets, which helps them build strong digital skills.

Therefore

Linking Words

, they are more likely to explore

this

Linking Words

field

further

Linking Words

and drive innovation in the future. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

there is a risk of losing cultural

traditions

Use synonyms

, the advantages of having a younger population, particularly in terms of technological progress, are more significant.

For

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

reason, I believe that the benefits outweigh the drawbacks.

adiletzenisbekov709

Jul 9, 2026

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

For task response, your answer is clear, but your ideas need more depth. You say the good side is stronger, but you explain only one main good point and one bad point.

task response

For task response, add one more strong idea for each side, or explain your main ideas more. This will make your answer feel more full and balanced.

task response

For task response, your example about school is relevant, but it is a bit general. Try to give a more clear and real example.

coherence and cohesion

For coherence and cohesion, your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This helps the reader follow your ideas easily.

coherence and cohesion

For coherence and cohesion, paragraphing is good, but the second body paragraph is shorter and less developed than the first one. Try to keep support more even.

coherence and cohesion

For coherence and cohesion, you use linking words like 'however', 'for example', 'therefore', and 'as a result' well. Still, you can add a few more smooth links between ideas inside paragraphs.

task response

You answer the question and give a clear opinion from the start to the end.

task response

Your main ideas are easy to understand and stay on topic.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay is well organized and easy to follow.

coherence and cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are both clear and suitable.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

221 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
Some people argue that governments should make laws regarding people’s nutrition and food choices to improve public health while others contend that this is the freedom of personal choice and responsibility. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
In the modern era, there are some groups who insist that a related law should be created in order to impose on people a responsibility to look after their health with food. However, the other assertive perspective should be also considered that a government can encourage people in a different way by providing more information to the public.
6
band
In some places old age is valued. While other cultures youth is considered more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Many people think that old age is important. However, others believe that the young generation is more vital. This essay shows showing youth age plays a crucial role in development and innovation.
8
band
You have been staying in a foreign country for the last two years, and your visa is about to expire next June. However, you are planning to take a three-months professional course. You will need a visa extension. Write a letter to the consular in the embassy and ask for an extension on your visa.
I am writing this letter to request you to extend me a student visa as my visa going to expire in June month and I want to study further for a short term.
6
band
It is common aspiration among many young people to run their own business, rather than work for an employer. Do you think the advantages of working for yourself outweigh the drawbacks?
These days, it is a common aim of many people leaving university to try to start up their own company. They believe that running a business has many advantages over working for someone else, such as the freedom to make your own decisions. I agree with this point of view, but it is important to bear in mind that running a business does not suit everybody.
6.5
band
Some parents want their children to read only serious educational books at all times. They don’t want their children to read any entertainment books because they think it is were of time. Do you agree or disagree?
There are many parents who prefer that their children have to be interested in strict educational books , while others reckon that their children don't need to focus on these types of books . This essay agrees that children should give their observation to other things besides serious academic books . Children ought to pay attention to things that can make them cheerful , like playing some games , doing physical activities , social interactions and especially resting and sleeping .

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.** **Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people argue that governments should make laws regarding people’s nutrition and food choices to improve public health while others contend that this is the freedom of personal choice and responsibility. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In some places old age is valued. While other cultures youth is considered more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

You have been staying in a foreign country for the last two years, and your visa is about to expire next June. However, you are planning to take a three-months professional course. You will need a visa extension. Write a letter to the consular in the embassy and ask for an extension on your visa.

It is common aspiration among many young people to run their own business, rather than work for an employer. Do you think the advantages of working for yourself outweigh the drawbacks?

Some parents want their children to read only serious educational books at all times. They don’t want their children to read any entertainment books because they think it is were of time. Do you agree or disagree?

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?