There are those who feel that a university education is the doorway to a successful life, and others who consider that this notion is obsolete. Discuss both perspectives and provide your viewpoint

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Some people state that a university education is a major milestone for a successful future.
However
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, some argue that universities are not the only factors to achieve order in life. I strongly disagree with the power of holding a degree. In
this
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essay, I will discuss both perspectives. Nowadays, it is required to stay in the competition for candidates since companies select the best ones. A university education helps students in
this
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regard because it provides the qualification for the business area and the trust for recruiters to show that graduates are already sufficient to start their tasks.
For example
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, a software engineer possesses more chance of being hired than a person who has only taken some coding classes from a course.
Consequently
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, the engineer becomes more valuable and a potential future asset for the HR departments.
On the other hand
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, soft skills are required to follow a considerable career path. Because
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the firms are in need of many good leaders who are able to communicate clearly and listen to the employees' ideas and feedback, and these are not truly taught in the universities.
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, one candidate speaking only the mother tongue without a degree can show off in a better way than a bilingual person having studied his/her master, taking into account that a person without a diploma knows how to treat others without humiliation and with respect.
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,
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professional can be found reliable and followed by others to run the business with faith. In conclusion, holding a degree is considered a great way to guarantee a successful life. Though
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there are other elements we have to learn to carry more weight in the job market. I believe that soft skills are the most powerful skills companies use to eliminate applicants. In my opinion,
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will never change in the upcoming years since enterprises will stay persistent in choosing the soft-skilled people from the pool.

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task response
Answer both sides in a more even way. You explain the value of university, but your own view is much stronger than the other side.
task response
Make your main opinion fully clear from start to end. You say degree is not very powerful, but some lines are not easy to follow.
task response
Use examples that are more direct and more real. Some examples are long and a bit unclear.
coherence and cohesion
Put one main idea in each body paragraph and explain it step by step.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple and clear words. Some sentences are too long, so the meaning becomes hard to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Check paragraph flow. A few points jump too fast from one idea to another.
task response
You discuss both views and you give your own opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task response
You try to support ideas with examples.
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