Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearence. Discuss both views and give your opinion
Some individuals believe that to be successful, it is essential to
work
hard with high willpower. However
, others think that other components, such
as money
and appearance
play a vital role in success
in life. While
I agree that money
and appearance
may influence success
, they are not permanent and crucial compared with hard work
. This
essay will explore several reasons to support this
perspective.
Firstly
, money
and appearance
are significant factors on the path to success
. A rich person can easily afford specific needs that require money
for success
. Likewise
, appearance
is also
used to achieve some personal interests. A beautiful lady, for example
, can be a female model easily if she has a nice appearance
enough. However
, both money
and appearance
are not permanent elements, and there are always risks for individuals to lose them. Thus
, I agree that these factors are not the most important way to be successful.
Besides
that, I firmly regard hard work
as the most effective and lasting to achieve something noteworthy in life. Many things in life need effort, and it requires a determination that comes from our will; therefore
, it is valuable for me. Moreover
, this
effort has a lasting effect that teaches us some insights, so success
through hard work
is more crucial and influential. For instance
, many businessmen come from economically disadvantaged areas and eventually receive high salaries through working hard.
In conclusion, Although
many consider money
and appearance
as a key element for success
, I acknowledge that hard work
and determination are more influential with lasting impact while
appearance
and money
are changeable phenomenons with less teach to a person. Instead
, I recommend hard working
which contributes to a person's capacity prevailing.Replace the word
work
Submitted by Yasar Khan on
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task achievement
Strengthen your main points about hard work and determination with more specific and diverse examples. This will make your argument more comprehensive and compelling.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and connects smoothly with the others. This will improve the overall flow and readability of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Expand your conclusion slightly to better reinforce and synthesize your main arguments. This can leave a stronger impact on the reader.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear and relevant introduction and conclusion, which adds to the overall coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
The main points are well-supported with relevant examples, which strengthens the task response.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is well-maintained, allowing the reader to follow your argument easily.