In recent years, online education is becoming more and more popular. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this phenomenon? Use specific details and examples to explain your opinion.

#years #education #phenomenon

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The growing advancement of technology in modern society has boosted the popularity of online learning dramatically.

This

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essay examines both positive and negative effects brought about by

this

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trend on

children

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's abilities to understand. On the one hand, there are obvious benefits that

children

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can gain from an immense volume of online learning resources.

In other words

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, students are accessible to a wider range of information, which facilitates their understanding in depth. they are more likely to grasp a clear image of some historical characters thanks to the reliable pictures and movies that effectively illustrate their physical appearance, characters and achievements.

For instance

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, the private lifestyle of Tototomi Hideyoshi with his wife and

children

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is revealed by animation clips on websites

whereas

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the textbook only focuses on the fact of his conquer of Osaka.

While

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school learning materials usually offer partial information and important events that everyone should remember, learners are able to understand more detailed backgrounds regarding a particular event and a person in the past.

This

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eventually leads to their rising interests and motivations for learning as one idea easily connects with another.

As a result

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, students are promoted to become more independent learners as they depend on

such

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technology.

On the other hand

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, the disadvantages of online education should not be ignored since

children

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tend to be more distracted by numerous services available on the internet. Indeed, they easily access unrelated music and movies and it discourages them from maintaining their concentration.

Furthermore

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, a flood of advertisements and incessant messages exchanged on SNS prevent their deep analysis and critical thoughts

due to

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their abrupt disturbance.

Consequently

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, young learners often end up wasting their time without making actual commitments to their own studies. Since it only makes them more addicted to online entertainment and even more demanding to tackle academic tasks, improvement in their academic performance will not be expected. In conclusion,

although

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it is beneficial for students to take advantage of unlimited online resources, excessive dependence on technology is less likely to higher academic achievement.

Thus

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, constant supervision from adults will be necessary to encourage their educational use of the Internet.

Submitted by mizuho on Thu Mar 07 2024

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Coherence & Cohesion

Consider structuring your essay more effectively by having clearer paragraph separations and using linking words to better connect your ideas.

Coherence & Cohesion

Make sure your introduction and conclusion are clearly distinguishable and summarize your main points well. Also, avoid introducing new ideas in the conclusion.

Coherence & Cohesion

Try to support each of your main points with specific examples or evidence. This makes your argument more convincing and comprehensive.

Task Achievement

Fully address all parts of the task by discussing both advantages and disadvantages equally. Make sure your opinion is clear throughout the essay.

Task Achievement

Develop your ideas more fully for a clearer and more comprehensive response. Avoid general statements by providing deeper insight and analysis of the advantages and disadvantages.

Task Achievement

Use more specific examples to illustrate your points. This adds credibility to your arguments and makes your essay more engaging.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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13
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

354 words

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In recent years, online education is becoming more and more popular. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this phenomenon? Use specific details and examples to explain your opinion.

Your opinion

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

The most important function of music is that it helps people reduce stress. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments. Can experimentation on animals be justified? Are there any alternatives?

some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Health education is an essential aspect of community health. Do you agree or disagree?