In recent years, online education is becoming more and more popular. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this phenomenon? Use specific details and examples to explain your opinion.

The growing advancement of technology in modern society has boosted the popularity of online learning dramatically.
This
essay examines both positive and negative effects brought about by
this
trend on
children
's abilities to understand. On the one hand, there are obvious benefits that
children
can gain from an immense volume of online learning resources.
In other words
, students are accessible to a wider range of information, which facilitates their understanding in depth. they are more likely to grasp a clear image of some historical characters thanks to the reliable pictures and movies that effectively illustrate their physical appearance, characters and achievements.
For instance
, the private lifestyle of Tototomi Hideyoshi with his wife and
children
is revealed by animation clips on websites
whereas
the textbook only focuses on the fact of his conquer of Osaka.
While
school learning materials usually offer partial information and important events that everyone should remember, learners are able to understand more detailed backgrounds regarding a particular event and a person in the past.
This
eventually leads to their rising interests and motivations for learning as one idea easily connects with another.
As a result
, students are promoted to become more independent learners as they depend on
such
technology.
On the other hand
, the disadvantages of online education should not be ignored since
children
tend to be more distracted by numerous services available on the internet. Indeed, they easily access unrelated music and movies and it discourages them from maintaining their concentration.
Furthermore
, a flood of advertisements and incessant messages exchanged on SNS prevent their deep analysis and critical thoughts
due to
their abrupt disturbance.
Consequently
, young learners often end up wasting their time without making actual commitments to their own studies. Since it only makes them more addicted to online entertainment and even more demanding to tackle academic tasks, improvement in their academic performance will not be expected. In conclusion,
although
it is beneficial for students to take advantage of unlimited online resources, excessive dependence on technology is less likely to higher academic achievement.
Thus
, constant supervision from adults will be necessary to encourage their educational use of the Internet.
Submitted by mizuho on

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Coherence & Cohesion
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Coherence & Cohesion
Make sure your introduction and conclusion are clearly distinguishable and summarize your main points well. Also, avoid introducing new ideas in the conclusion.
Coherence & Cohesion
Try to support each of your main points with specific examples or evidence. This makes your argument more convincing and comprehensive.
Task Achievement
Fully address all parts of the task by discussing both advantages and disadvantages equally. Make sure your opinion is clear throughout the essay.
Task Achievement
Develop your ideas more fully for a clearer and more comprehensive response. Avoid general statements by providing deeper insight and analysis of the advantages and disadvantages.
Task Achievement
Use more specific examples to illustrate your points. This adds credibility to your arguments and makes your essay more engaging.

Your opinion

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