Some people think that there are benefits in going to private secondary schools. Others feel that private schools can have negative effects on the society. Discuss both the view and give your opinion?

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There is an ongoing debate on private secondary

schools

Use synonyms

. A certain number of individuals consider them beneficial,

whereas

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others claim that they may shape society negatively.

This

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essay will examine both perspectives;

however

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, I firmly believe that private secondary

schools

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offer significant advantages. In terms of quality education, private secondary

schools

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provide a curriculum based on modern methods and technology. Since these institutions operate on a private budget collected from parents as tuition fees, they are able to regularly update their curriculum and facilities,

such

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as accommodation and equipment needed for music, art, and sports classes. These opportunities potentially guarantee pupils the chance to become students at prestigious universities.

Furthermore

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, parents whose children study at a private secondary school may feel that their children are safe and that their future will be bright. To illustrate, in Uzbekistan, there are private

schools

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specialised

in particular

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subjects, and they have already shown remarkable results, with their students entering top universities

such

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as Harvard, Stanford, Oxford, and Cambridge.

Thus

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, private secondary

schools

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can develop a community because they raise future leaders and great scientists. Even so, these kinds of

schools

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can

also

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pose a critical threat to society. Since private secondary

schools

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are not free, not everyone can afford them.

Consequently

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this

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increases the gap between social classes, which may cause discrimination against the middle and lower classes.

Therefore

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, the government should allocate its economic and technological resources to improving public

schools

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to provide children from low-income families with a better and free education.

To sum up

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, I firmly believe that private secondary

schools

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are essential for the community

due to

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their specialised environment.

Nevertheless

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, authorities ought to regulate them and invest in public

schools

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in order to give equal opportunities to those who cannot afford private education.

ziyodullokhonanvarov

Jul 11, 2026

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task response

Make your second view more full. You explain the good side more than the bad side.

task response

Use the exact task words more clearly. Say how private schools help society and how they hurt society.

task response

Give one more clear example for the bad side, not only a general idea about rich and poor.

coherence and cohesion

Some links are good, but a few ideas move too fast. Add a short line to connect school quality with social results.

coherence and cohesion

Keep one main idea in each body paragraph. This will make your points easier to follow.

coherence and cohesion

Check small word choice like 'develop a community' because it sounds unclear. Use a simpler clear phrase.

task response

You answer both views and give your opinion clearly.

task response

Your example about schools in Uzbekistan is clear and strong.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear start, two body parts, and a clear end.

coherence and cohesion

You use link words like 'furthermore', 'consequently', and 'to sum up' well.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

295 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

smaller classes
better facilities
high-quality teaching
safe environment
strong academic results
personal attention
social inequality
education gap
equal chance
rich and poor
sense of fairness
public schools
private education
government support
benefit society

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