It is important for all towns and cities to have large public outdoor places like squares and parks. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Nowadays, it is essential to have public outdoor
places
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in urban and rural areas. Squares and parks play a critical role in physical activities and social gatherings. From my perspective, I completely agree that cities should provide green spaces to community for better life.
Firstly
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, urban cities that have outdoor
places
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like parks, help people to do physical activities,
such
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as exercises and sports. Which maintain and reduce cardiovascular disease and obesity.
For example
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, Hyde Park in New York City is the largest park in the world, it encourages community to do sports like bicycle and running everywhere and anywhere to decrease obesity.
As a result
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, parks with green spaces help people to do what they love and make them happy.
Furthermore
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, public outdoor
places
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boost families to social gatherings for play, talk or study with friends. Beside ,They could meet a tourists , and tell them about the city and what they have for tourism.
For instance
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, there are teenagers doesn't have friends to go with, but if they decide to go to the park, they will meet people there and could be friends or neighbors.
In addition
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, outdoor
places
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encourage society to clean the place before they leave, which is a good behavior to keep the city clean. In conclusion, I believe that cities should provide green spaces and public outdoor
places
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to support health lifestyles and social gatherings that promote the development of sustainable communities.
In addition
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, urban areas must be clean and safe to attract tourists and visitors from other countries to come and explore the region.

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task response
Answer the question more directly. Say clearly why you fully agree, and keep this idea strong in all body parts.
task response
Develop each main idea more. Add one clear reason and explain how it helps people or the city.
task response
Use examples that are correct and clear. Your park example is not accurate, so choose a real and simple example.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one main idea in each body paragraph. Do not add too many small ideas in the same part.
coherence and cohesion
Link sentences more smoothly. Use simple words like first, also, for example, and as a result in the right place.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence order and grammar because some lines are hard to follow, and this hurts the flow of the essay.
task response
You answer the topic and give a clear opinion from the start.
task response
You include both health and social benefits, which are relevant to the question.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use basic linking words such as firstly, furthermore, for example, and in conclusion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • public outdoor spaces
  • community events
  • social cohesion
  • community engagement
  • quality of urban life
  • physical activities
  • public health and wellbeing
  • environmental benefits
  • reduce pollution
  • urban wildlife
  • aesthetic appeal
  • inclusive access
  • economic benefits
  • local businesses
  • tourists attractions
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