IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people belive that watching tv is bad for children while others claim that it has positive effects for children as they grow up. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Get started →
Television
Use synonyms
 has long been a common part of
children
Use synonyms
’s daily lives, but opinions differ on whether it harms or helps their development.
While
Linking Words
 some people argue that watching
television
Use synonyms
 has negative effects, others believe it can support
children
Use synonyms
 as they grow up. In my view,
television
Use synonyms
 can be beneficial if parents control both the content and the amount of time spent watching it. On the one hand, excessive
television
Use synonyms
 viewing can damage
children
Use synonyms
’s physical, social, and mental development.
Children
Use synonyms
 who spend many hours in front of a screen may become less active, which can contribute to poor health and reduced fitness.
Moreover
Linking Words
, too much
television
Use synonyms
 can replace reading, outdoor play, and face-to-face communication with family and friends.
For example
Linking Words
, a child who watches cartoons for several hours every evening may have fewer opportunities to develop imagination, concentration, and social confidence.
Therefore
Linking Words
, uncontrolled
television
Use synonyms
 use can clearly have harmful consequences.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
television
Use synonyms
 can
also
Linking Words
 offer educational and cultural benefits. High-quality programmes can teach
children
Use synonyms
 about science, history, nature, and different cultures in a lively and memorable way.
In addition
Linking Words
, carefully selected shows can improve language skills, especially when
children
Use synonyms
 are exposed to clear speech and useful vocabulary.
For instance
Linking Words
, documentaries and educational programmes may encourage curiosity and help young viewers understand the wider world.
As a result
Linking Words
,
television
Use synonyms
 should not be seen as entirely negative. In conclusion,
television
Use synonyms
 can be both harmful and helpful for
children
Use synonyms
, depending on how it is used. I believe it has positive effects when viewing time is limited
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 programmes are chosen carefully. Parents should
therefore
Linking Words
 guide
children
Use synonyms
’s watching habits so that
television
Use synonyms
 becomes a tool for learning rather than a source of harm.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
For task response, you answer all parts of the question well. To get a higher score, add one more clear and real example.
task response
Your opinion is clear from the start and stays clear. This is good for task response.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay is easy to follow. To make it even better, use a few more linking words in a natural way.
coherence and cohesion
Each paragraph has one main idea and good support. This helps your coherence and cohesion.
task response
You discuss both sides and give your opinion clearly.
task response
Your ideas are relevant and easy to understand.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
The order of ideas is logical and smooth.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: