IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people think that all teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their free time to help the local community. They believe this would benefit both the individual teenager and society as a whole. Do you agree or disagree?

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There is no denying the fact that
charitey
Correct your spelling
charity
 is beneficial
work
Use synonyms
 for all
community
Use synonyms
partys
Correct your spelling
parties
.
While
Linking Words
 it is commonly held
belife
Correct your spelling
belief
 that requiring teenagers to do unpaid
work
Use synonyms
 in their free time is
nasaccery
Correct your spelling
necessary
, there is
also
Linking Words
 an
argumant
Correct your spelling
argument
 that opposes it. In my opinion, I believe it is
cucial
Correct your spelling
crucial
 for both
sides
Check wording
apply
show examples
the
younge
Correct your spelling
young
 people and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the kids does has a lot of free time after school and even
in the
Change preposition
at
show examples
 weekends, and making them
partispating
Wrong verb form
participate
show examples
 in local
community
Use synonyms
work
Use synonyms
 is
great
Correct article usage
a great
show examples
 idea for
there
Use the right word
their
show examples
 personal
develpment
Correct your spelling
development
.
In other words
Linking Words
, they are going to learn lots of useful
skils
Correct your spelling
skills
 from working with other
such
Linking Words
 as
team
Correct your spelling
teamwork
work
Use synonyms
, time management and helping others.
In addition
Linking Words
, they
going
Verb problem
are going
show examples
 to learn more about their
personallity
Correct your spelling
personality
, their hoppies end their preffrensies
also
Linking Words
 their might discovere what they want
do
Verb problem
to do
show examples
 for life and career.
For example
Linking Words
, some
kid
Fix the agreement mistake
kids
show examples
 might try
Use synonyms
work
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
 in
hospital
Correct article usage
a hospital
show examples
 and turn out to study and
work
Use synonyms
 in
this
Linking Words
 field to provide
helpe
Correct your spelling
help
 for those who need it. Another point to consider, living in
such
Linking Words
Use synonyms
community
Correct article usage
a community
show examples
 where they help each
orher
Correct pronoun usage
other
show examples
 will spread love, compacion and kindness between it is nation.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it will
reflex
Use the right word
reflect
show examples
 on their town.
For instance
Linking Words
, teenagers cleaning the parks and roads
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will make the city much
more
Rephrase
apply
show examples
better. In
conclucian
Correct your spelling
conclusion
,
despit
Correct your spelling
despite
 people having different views, I believe that charity
an
Verb problem
is an
show examples
 important part of the town, it is beneficial for the
community
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 it is
young
Change preposition
for young
show examples
 people.

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task response
Make your main view more clear. Say clearly if you agree, disagree, or partly agree, and keep this same view in all parts.
task response
Add more support for each main idea. Explain how and why the unpaid work helps teens and the town.
task response
Use one clear example in each body part and explain it more fully.
coherence cohesion
Put one main idea in each paragraph and start each paragraph with a clear topic sentence.
coherence cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like first, also, for example, and in conclusion, but use them in a natural way.
coherence cohesion
Check sentence order and grammar so ideas are easier to follow.
task response
You answer the topic and talk about both teens and the community.
task response
You give some examples, like work in a hospital and cleaning parks and roads.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two body parts, and an ending.
coherence cohesion
You use some linking words such as to begin with, in addition, and for example.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • community service
  • free time
  • unpaid work
  • local area
  • real life skills
  • team work
  • time management
  • sense of duty
  • social responsibility
  • help others
  • make a difference
  • public spaces
  • food bank
  • care home
  • volunteer work
  • forced labor
  • school pressure
  • mental stress
  • personal choice
  • fair system
  • practical experience
  • benefit society
  • build character
  • learn discipline
  • support local people
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