The purpose of businesses is to make money and they should concentrate only on this. Do you agree or disagree?

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It is thought that
businesses
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should revolve around financial goals only.
This
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essay completely disagrees with
this
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statement because it might detract from the
employees
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' optimal performance and lower the enterprise's
reputation
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. The primary reason to object to the sole focus of making profits is that
such
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a shallow mindset can exhaust the business' workforce by forcing them to work excessively to achieve certain financial KPIs.
This
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is because when the company prioritizes its profits over the
employees
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' happiness and personal growth, it might result in work dissatisfaction, which definitely lowers needed devotion and productivity.
For example
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, in 2022, it was reported that a footwear company in Ho Chi Minh City made its workers work overtime excessively within 2 months in order to make up the loss caused by the COVID pandemic, but that only ended up in chaos when many
employees
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went on strikes to protest the policy. The second reason why
businesses
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should not consider money as their sole purpose is that it may bring down their
reputation
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.
In other words
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, the more
businesses
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join hands to solve practical issues in their community, the higher
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reputation
Correct article usage
the reputation
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they will get, and
this
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will in turn better support their commercial activities.
For instance
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, the electronics giant Sony has included community social responsibilities through specific campaigns or activities
such
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as teaching disadvantaged children photography skills or donating computers to schools in rural areas as a crucial part of their strategic marketing plan, which yielded impressive results in enhancing brand awareness
while
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contributing significantly to the community. In conclusion,
while
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making profits is of paramount importance to
businesses
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, it should be made the sole purpose as it could deplete the
employees
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' contribution to the company and negatively affect their
reputation
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.
Submitted by nha7032463 on

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structure
Ensure a clear distinction between paragraphs for better readability.
linguistic
Consider varying your sentence structures to enhance the flow of your essay.
content
To improve task response, you can further refine your argument by addressing potential counterarguments and rebutting them.
introduction/conclusion
You've demonstrated a strong ability to formulate a coherent argument with an introduction and conclusion that encapsulate your viewpoint effectively.
examples
The use of relevant and specific examples to support your points is commendable.
task response
Your essay presents a clear and comprehensive response to the task, with well-elucidated ideas.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Financial sustainability
  • Profit margin
  • Corporate social responsibility (CSR)
  • Stakeholder
  • Socio-economic impact
  • Ethical business practices
  • Customer retention
  • Brand loyalty
  • Workforce morale
  • Innovation
  • Sustainable growth
  • Competitive edge
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