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Writing Samples
Band 5

The table give information about the temperatures and hours of daylight in london and sydney during the same weekend in december 2018.

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The tables compare the temperatures and
hours
Use synonyms
 of
daylight
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 in
London
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 and
Sydney
Use synonyms
 during the same weekend in December 2018.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is evident that the
overall
Linking Words
 average
temperature
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 in
Sydney
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 was higher than
Use synonyms
London
Change preposition
in London
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, which means
Londen
Correct your spelling
London
 was colder than
Sydney
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.
In addition
Linking Words
, the
hours
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 of
daylight
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 in
Sydney
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 were longer than
Use synonyms
London
Change preposition
in London
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. Regarding
London
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, the
temperature
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 peaked at 13 centigrade on
Saturday
Punctuation problem
Saturday,
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 29th, when the
temperature
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also
Linking Words
 registered the minimum
temperature
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 at 3 centigrade, making it the coldest and hottest day in
London
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.
In addition
Linking Words
, the
hours
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 of
daylight
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 were equal
respectively
Punctuation problem
, respectively
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, which were between 08:05 and 15:59. Concerning
Sydney
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, the maximum
temperature
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 was 31 centigrade on
Sunday
Punctuation problem
Sunday,
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 30th,
while
Linking Words
 the minimum
temperature
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 was 17 centigrade on
Friday
Punctuation problem
Friday,
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 28th, recording the coldest day in
Sydney
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
hours
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 of
daylight
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 were equal through the three days between 05:45 and 20:46,
whereas
Linking Words
 they were longer than the
hours
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 of
daylight
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 in
London
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in addition, overall".
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 75%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words hours, daylight, london, sydney, temperature with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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