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Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph below shows the different types of transport used by tourists in a particular country between 1989 and 2009.

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The line chart illustrates the various categories of transport used by
travellers
Use synonyms
 in a specific country,
such
Linking Words
 as
car
Use synonyms
,
rail
Use synonyms
,
air
Use synonyms
,
coach
Use synonyms
, and ferry, between 1989 and 2009.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that
rail
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 and
coach
Use synonyms
 are used by
travellers
Use synonyms
 with an increasing trend during the period between 1989 and 2009,
whereas
Linking Words
usage
Use synonyms
 of
car
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 and
air
Use synonyms
 fell,
while
Linking Words
 ferry remained nearly stable.
Firstly
Linking Words
, nearly 35% of tourists used the
rail
Use synonyms
 in 1989, and
usage
Use synonyms
 of the
rail
Use synonyms
 reached approximately to 45% in 1999, and
then
Linking Words
 it peaked at 60% with a substantial increase in 2009.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, almost 10% of
travellers
Use synonyms
 used the
coach
Use synonyms
 in 1989, and it barely increased, and reached to 10% in 1994. After 1994, the portion of
travellers
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 who used the
coach
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 reached approximately 25%. Ferry was the least travelled vehicle in 1989, and it grew barely over the period, and reached to 10% in 2009.
In contrast
Linking Words
, 40% of people who travelled used the
air
Use synonyms
 in 1989, and
usage
Use synonyms
 of the
air
Use synonyms
 dropped dramatically to 20% in 2009.
Additionally
Linking Words
, half of the tourists travelled by
car
Use synonyms
 in 1989, and the
usage
Use synonyms
 of the
car
Use synonyms
 reached above-60% in 1999.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 trend didn't
last
Linking Words
 long, and it dropped notably by almost 50% in 2009.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words travellers, car, rail, air, coach, usage with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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