IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table and chart give information about doctors in Australia between 1986 and 2006.

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The given table provides data about
number
Correct article usage
the number
show examples
 of
doctors
Use synonyms
 in Australia in the years
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
1986, 1996 and 2006.
Use synonyms
Percentage
Correct article usage
The percentage
show examples
 of
doctors
Use synonyms
 in
this
Linking Words
 country by gender and place of birth is shown in
bar
Correct article usage
a bar
show examples
 chart below the table.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the highest
measurement
Check wording
number
show examples
 of
doctors
Use synonyms
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 in 2006
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
man
Fix the agreement mistake
men
show examples
 were the largest proportion of medics.
Moreover
Linking Words
, most of them
born
Verb problem
were born
show examples
 in Australia. Looking at the table, the lowest
amount
Check wording
number
show examples
 of
doctors
Use synonyms
 was in 1986
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
then
Linking Words
, these numbers increased year by year and represented the highest rate in 2006. In terms of gender, the bar chart demonstrates that male
doctors
Use synonyms
 were always more than females
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
Use synonyms
percentage
Correct article usage
the percentage
show examples
 of
this
Linking Words
 started dropping during these years.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
proportion
Correct article usage
the proportion
show examples
 of
woman
Check wording
women
show examples
 clinicians began to
rose
Wrong verb form
rise
show examples
 slightly, from 25% to 38%, between 1996 and 2006. A leading
percentage
Use synonyms
 of medics who
born
Verb problem
were born
show examples
 in Australia during 1986 and 2006
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
this
Linking Words
 was decreased mildly, 62% and 50%, respectively. The
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
born
Check wording
people born
show examples
 overseas experienced a slight increase throughout 30 years.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words doctors, percentage with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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