Environmental problems are too big for individuals or individual countries to address. Therefore, they can only be tackled at an international level. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Get started →
Nowadays, as environmental degradation exacerbates at a rapid rate, many assume that environmental
issues
Use synonyms
are nearly irreversible unless global citizens acknowledge and take measures to mitigate the crisis.
This
Linking Words
essay, from my point of view, agrees that only when individuals accept responsibilities in combating environmental
issues
Use synonyms
can these
issues
Use synonyms
be resolved.
Initially
Linking Words
, the severity of the environmental crisis is high, and allocating adequate financial resources comes from international parties. Since environmental problems are on a global scale, efforts made by one particular
country
Use synonyms
cannot lessen the issue if other nations are unwilling to take action.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the substantial investment required to combat environmental
issues
Use synonyms
can account for almost half of national expenditure if nations take up idle funds, which is vital for the development of the
country
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, the internal government is not sufficient in spreading awareness to citizens globally.
This
Linking Words
is because regulations can only be effective within the
country
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, international organisations have the authority to set laws which take effect indirectly in external regions through taxes or similar measures.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, environmental problems can be addressed locally through strengthening a
country
Use synonyms
's domestic efforts. As citizens, local communities can adopt an eco-friendly approach by purchasing products that are guaranteed to produce the least emissions.
Moreover
Linking Words
, industries can import organic vehicles which comply with government regulations dedicated to protecting the environment and invest in sustainable methods
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
as maintaining forests.
For instance
Linking Words
,
instead
Linking Words
of relying on fossil fuels, industries can construct solar power systems to reduce carbon emissions. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
resolving environmental degradation can be approached internationally or domestically, I believe international organisations are more effective than local authorities, as their actions are more immediate and have a more widespread impact.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Answer the main question more clearly. The topic asks if this problem can only be solved at the international level, but your essay also says people must accept responsibility. Make your position the same from start to end.
task response
Develop your ideas more fully. Some points are interesting, but a few need better explanation, like why international groups are more effective than countries.
task response
Use a more direct example. Your example about solar power is relevant, but it supports local action more than your main opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Make linking between ideas smoother. Some sentences feel separate, so use clear step-by-step progress in each paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Keep each body paragraph focused on one main idea. The first body paragraph mixes money, law, and public awareness, so it is less easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Check reference words and word choice. A few phrases are unclear, which makes the meaning harder to follow.
coherence and cohesion
You give a clear introduction and a clear conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a logical paragraph structure with one main idea in each part.
task response
You answer both sides of the issue and give your own view.
task response
You use a relevant example about clean energy to support your point.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
What to do next:
Look at other essays: